How many roads must a man walk down?
Oxygen festival in Ireland.I unexpectedly got a ticket on the Thursday afternoon and was offered a lift there too. Great news but it meant I had no time to get a sleeping bag or a change of clothes or anything like that. So I bought bin-liners to sleep in and a bottle of gin and was ready to go. Got there on Thursday night and started into chain smoking and drinking. Lidle gin is terrible, let me tell you,. Nevertheless I was going hell for leather.’ This is awful’ then ’this gin isn’t too bad actually’ then ‘this is amazing’ then ’this is the only drink I will ever drink ever again’ and so on until it culminated in the ‘Worst Piss Of All Time’.

We were miles away from a portaloo but right beside a fence. And there were loads of other blokes ( and a couple of ladies) having their way against this fence, so fuck it, I staggered up, took aim and had one of those drunken pisses where you continually sway. I was singing ‘Blowing in the Wind’ full belt, eyes closed and all. I think I was just getting to the end of the chorus and I staggered backwards. I staggered backwards about four steps trying to regain my balance, all the while I was mid-flight, but it wasn’t happening and I fell, knob in hand, lying on my back and I couldn’t stop pissing. All over myself. About a good two meters away from the fence. If anybody had just turned around it would look like I just walked into an open space, lay down, and pissed over myself.

I had no spare trousers, no-body let me sleep in their tent that night and everyone called me Bob Dylan for the rest of the festival.

Good weekend though. Nice and sunny.
(BarryChuckle, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:41, 3 replies)

Haaaaahahahahahahahaha cracking one, Bob!
I feel your pain - when high I once wandered away from the fire to get a better look at the stars, stood there, looked up at the sky and gently fell backwards, much to the amusement of all, and lay there unable to get up until the following morning.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 13:20, closed)

Brilliant...
...I've been gripped by the fear of having this happen to me far too many times whilst having a drunken metronome slash. Luckily I've always managed to anchor myself on something when I've been in danger of toppling but I've often wondered whether anyone's ever went down pissing - and now thanks to you I know.

Cheers

*click*
(Rotimer was micturating windward at, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:50, closed)

metronome slash
Haha,That is the exact description.
(BarryChuckle, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 17:05, closed)