The spice of life
I’m not a great cook, but at university I decided to show off the best dish in my repertoire, chilli con carne. I invited some mates round for food, drinks and a night of watching Blackadder, because a couple of them had never seen it before (who were these people and why had I made friends with them?).

Now I’m partial to making things pretty spicy, but my friend Mark admitted he wasn’t the hardiest soul when it came to hot food, so I promised to do two batches – one with plenty of chillis in, the other with nothing more than some packet-flavouring.

You can see the temptation when the evening came round, can’t you? One super-spicy, one as mild as your middle-aged middle-class mother…

But no, I’m not a mean person (vindictive if provoked, but not mean) so I gave him the mild chilli that he asked for, and a couple of other cowards had it as well.

And half an hour later he threw it back up. Makes me wish I had given him the hot one…

Length? The good ones are small, wrinkly, and very hot…
(annexed, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 16:26, Reply)