A tampon
Then girlfriend was:
a. very menstrual
b. very stoned
c. very horny

After discreetly removing her tampon, well, yanking it out and throwing it on the floor , she asked me in an urgent fashion to "Fuckin' hurry up and slot me one before my minge leaks!" (note: this seemed acceptable language of love at the time as she was born in LIverpool). After a few minutes of consumating our love, I thought to myself, while this doesn't feel unpleasant, it certainly doesn't feel right. Digital investigation proved that it wasn't, as I feared, a large pustulant sore but in fact 2 more tampons.
Marijuana = short term memory loss.

Due to family connections, I still see her at functions and always remind her of this amusing anecdote.
(wallynothere rnot without protection, Sat 8 Nov 2008, 23:45, 8 replies)

Oh my
so she had 3 tampons in?
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Sun 9 Nov 2008, 0:23, closed)

SWMBO's friend
always seems to be on the rag when she pulls. At some stage during the evening I'm usually asked to find out if potential suitor is a "Man of the world" or not.

Seriously, of women over a certain age I have found that once they get past the twenty something fuck every day all day stage the only time I get any is when I have to pull the bugger out with my teeth. Once I just let the fucker stay where it was. It's ok with the small ones but three of the buggers FFS?!

Personally I prefer chopped liver with onions sizzling in a pan.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 0:44, closed)

"due to family connections"
adds a massively incestuous twist to this tale
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 10:18, closed)

^This!
exactly what entered my mind as I read the last line
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 1:48, closed)

three? three??
how would it even work with one?
Was she, how shall I put this, a little on the commodious side?
(jennymnemonic, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 14:38, closed)

*Click*
Purely for "Hurry up and slot me one before my minge leaks!" Classic....

Family connections? I hope 'cos you know her brother or something..

Tampons go soft in use, so one would be just about bearable, all other things being equal, (And the Gentleman isn't King Dong..)Mind you... 3... *shakes head*
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 15:58, closed)

family connection
was bangin her dad too

snarf!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 19:34, closed)

Sounds like a candidate for...
...Death by toxic shock syndrome
(apologies_for_length, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 0:02, closed)