I once found....
... A dead crab on the beach whilst on a caravan holiday in Great Yarmouth. He had one claw, had been dead quite some time and no doubt smelled like an old mans grot collection. I lovingly named him 'Mcguyver'.

I took him back to the caravan and kept him in an empty ice cream tub, which for some reason i filled to the brim with water. Occasionally i would whip him out and re-create the opening Mcguyver credits, culminating in the slow motion fall off a cliff, that i thought added a whole level of class to proceedings. I'm still not sure if i did all this to gross my brothers out and make them laugh or if i genuinely loved that little crab of mine.

After two weeks in the....'sun'... i somehow managed to smuggle him home and after a further three, a miracle occured! He came back to life and escaped his plastic tomb and headed for who knows where!? I was overwhelmed with happiness when my mum told me all about it!

Some of you may be waiting for some kind of punchline right about now..... All you're going to get is me feeling ashamed that all of the above is absolutely true (callin my mum a liar?).

The oddest thing was, the next year...on the beach........ I found a single crab claw!










And i took it home.
(Billyfindus Shy and retarded since, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 16:33, 2 replies)

Not just a miracle
it's the second coming! all hail crab jesus!
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 19:26, closed)

you should have called the claw
Maradonna, the hand of crab.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 12 Nov 2008, 23:38, closed)