Deep (Right Down The) Pan Pizza Company
In late 1992, I was on ET. Remember ET? For six quid extra a week, you'd agree to take weeks of half-arsed "training" to keep you off the streets — and more importantly, off the unemployment roll. For us, it meant being shut in a shabby office in Anderston for the morning, and then finding the cheapest pub that we wouldn't get stabbed in to nurse a pint until 4pm.

The group decided that, though we were short on cash, we needed to have a night out. There was a dismal place called the Deep Pan Pizza Company that had an all-you-can-eat pizza 'n pasta buffet for five quid. The house rule was you had to have a serving of gloopy pasta with your spongey pizza slice, and you couldn't go back with anything on your plate. Despite this, Smallish Jim decides to take the rules as a challenge.

After seven huge slices and their accompanying starchy pasta goo, I called it quits, feeling like I'd eaten a truckload of redimix. Smallish Jim makes it to 15 rounds, looking none the worse for eating the entire wheat production of Saskatchewan in one evening. To celebrate, we all chip in to buy him a pint. Smallish Jim is still smiling after a couple of sips. Three sips in, though, and he turns the colour of the filling in a Mint Aero. He barely makes it to the bog, and the retching noises are terrible. After much flushing and coughing, Smallish Jim saunters out, quietly gets his coat, and whispers to us, "We should leave. The bog's blocked with pizza and pasta spew. We don't want to be here when the barman finds what the floor looks like in there". We left, sharpish.
( scruss, Sun 17 Apr 2011, 22:21, 1 reply)

Oh god, the memories! My friend worked there at that time - did they not used to put tons of oil into the pizza base mix so you couldn't eat too much of it? I bet she had to clean the toilets that day, poor bugger! :D x
(resurrection_mary cannibal_ferox, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 13:04, closed)