I'll always remember, with fond memories,...
...the time my Dad left my Mum.

I'd been planning on moving out myself when he dropped the bombshell, announcing he'd beaten me to it and I had to stay with my Mum "because she needs you". Cut to several weeks of purgatory later and my Mum comes to me for a 'chat'.

"I just wanted to let you know that if anything happens to me, the mortgage will be paid up. We've got insurance."

I sat and quietly nodded, fully understanding what she was getting at, but refusing to comment. She continued.

"See, the thing is, I can't carry on without him."

I then spend quite some time trying to explain to her that suicide isn't really something that she should be contemplating. Who'd iron my shirts, for heaven's sake? :o)

Of course, I'm then in the wonderful position where every time I come home I never quite know what I'm going to find when I walk in the door. Hanging from the rafters? Holding an empty paracetemol bottle? Ah, the joys of divorce...

I could write a book on the number of times the old ratbag has ruined something good in my life by ensuring her own needs were vociferously campaigned for. Emotional blackmail is her forte. Considering she's almost illiterate and can barely string a meaningful sentence together - she once blamed television interference on 'Asthmatic Ferrets' instead of 'Atmospherics' - she's absolutely bloody fantastic at making me feel guilty for having anything approaching a life.

I have long since moved out, but every time she phones me she says, "I thought I'd better phone you because you NEVER phone me".

I am consumed with anger because, despite all her shortcomings, I still love the old ratbag.
(Ravenhill, Thu 13 Oct 2005, 10:50, Reply)