Going to hell
This happened a few years back, at a mate's old man's BBQ. Typical grey cloudy Cornish summer, so a group of us had relocated to the summer house in the corner of the garden, and were slowly getting wasted, away from the more mature types at the BBQ.

We were slowly getting merry, when a slightly chubby older guy appeared at the doorway, and said Hi. I'd never met him before but he seemed a bit down. My mate asked how he was doing, and the guy slowly explained that his mum had been ill, and had been in and out of hospital with internal bleeding, and problems with her bowels. Naturally it all went a bit quiet at this point; I just looked down into my beer, not sure where else to look. This went on for 30 seconds, until I noticed that one of my mates was shaking slightly. I looked up, and his face was bright red; he was trying his hardest not to laugh. To my left, another mate was also sniggering away, virtually pissing himself. This got louder and louder until they burst out laughing, unable to stop.

The stranger had wandered off by this point, somehow but thankfully oblivious to my mates.

I asked them what the fuck they were laughing at, as it seemed pretty harsh.

At which point they explained to me just who his mum was.

Her name was Abbie*, and she was "affectionately" known around these parts as "Anal Abbie*", a reputation earned after years of stalking young men at the local nightspot, before dragging them back to her's for a bit of backdoor action.

Seems she'd taken one too many poundings up the wrong un, and was now in a spot of trouble.

*Name changed very slightly to protect the guilty.
( Rusty Shackleford www.junt.co.uk / @joeyrobbo, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:46, Reply)