Being sent to the butchers.........
for some chicken lips, who said

"certainly just go to the greengrocers and get me a glass hammer would you?"

The Greengrocer said

"No problem laddie, just go down to the flower man and get me some sky hooks"

The flower man asked me to go the the fishmonger

"Just get me a long weight and they're all yours"

So off I go to the fish monger, after two hours he brings me out my long weight, back to the flower man who hands me my sky hooks. Off to the Greengrocer I go sky hooks in hand and I come away with my glass hammer, back to the butchers and I finally get my grubby little hands on some chicken lips.

Walking away I hear the unmistakable sound of breaking glass and a loud "dickdribbles"

"Heh, he should have used skyhooks" I mutter to myself.
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 22:13, 2 replies)

skyhooks!
LOL


having been "on the tools" for a couple of decades now, it never ceases to amuse!!!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 0:35, closed)

Ah, the old Apprentice stuff.
One of the lads who worked for me got sent out for several things, over the course of about 2 months and fell for everything. These included:
'Threaded Nails'
'Threadless Screws'
'A length of fallopian tube'
And the one that had him gone for hours was:
'A box of sparks for the angle grinder'

Whoever made these up originally is a genius.
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 3:07, closed)