Gullible colleague
I work with a particularly gullible lady, who I'll refer to as R. Over the years she's realised that most of the things I tell her are in fact completely untrue, but occasionally one slips under the radar - particularly if there is an element of truth, or a plausible explanation.

Last summer she went on a cruise (the Med, I think), the first time she's been on a boat. For some reason she asked me and another colleague for advice on what to take, and things she ought to know. We racked our brains, and over the next few weeks came up a few:
1) If you meet a member of the crew walking towards you, you should always pass them on the seaward side.
2) If the ship's horn sounds, it generally means the ship has just entered the waters of another country. It's considered polite to stand and say 'God save the Queen!'.
3) You should always salute a uniformed officer.
4) Most ships expect ladies to wear hats at dinner. Wearing the same hat twice should be avoided.
5) There will usually be a lifeboat test during the first couple of nights - you should sleep fully clothed, as the last person out will be the 'victim' for the 'man overboard' drill.

She distrusts everything I say these days, although I did convince her that limes were just unripe lemons the other day.
(Photon wasting your time since, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 17:22, Reply)