Chest what you need.
Many years ago (OK, 20+) I worked for a small IT company that had a problem customer. She kept ringing us and complaining that her PC (an IBM XT with 20MB hard disk) was typing random characters in Word Perfect.

We visited site, replaced her keyboard and asked her to test it, perfect. A couple of days pass and she's on the phone again, same problem.

Having already replaced the keyboard with a refurbished one (yeah, they used to be worth fixing) we decided to give her a brand new keyboard because, it transpires, she's the MD's secretary. Problem solved.

No, not that lucky, she's on the phone again and she's *not* happy.
By this time we're getting a little desperate, we start to suspect the hardware so we back up everything onto floppy (5.25") and re-install MS-DOS along with all her applications onto a loan PC. Her machine works flawlessly in the workshop, passes all diagnostics, even survives the office scut monkey typing rude words on screen and laughing uncontrollably.

Meanwhile, she's reporting that the loan PC has the same fault. This, we conclude, is impossible, it's completely different hardware and a fresh install of all the sofware so I'm dispatched with another engineer to her desk with the instructions 'Find out what the fuck is going on and don't leave until you have worked it out.'

So I'm sat there, she's an older woman (mid thirties to my late teens), rather attractive in MILF sort of way. We're chatting, she's taking phone calls and the PC is behaving. Then, after a couple of hours she gets a folder from her boss, the MD, containing a document he wants typed up, lots of pages of handwritten notes.

Watching her typing is entertaining, she jiggles in a most comely way as the speed builds up and she's a good typist. No problem with the PC though, until that is she reaches forward to turn the page on her copy holder and her ample chest hits the keyboard and types a bunch of random characters...

I'm not sure who was most embarrassed, me trying to explain why the random characters had appeared or her for causing them.

Length? About 38D I reckon...
(ceeej, Sun 27 Sep 2009, 0:09, Reply)