Moscow Underground Violence!!!
About three years ago my school organised a trip to Moscow and St Petersburg (I always thought my History teacher had dealings with the Kremlin). While out and about in Moscow I spotted this fantastic Soviet general's coat for sale, and thinking this will be the ultimate souvenir, I bought said coat and a fur hat for a pittance (about a fiver).

But how to transport my new purchases? Easy! I'll simply wear them on the trip back to the hotel, via the notoriously busy tube...hardly subtle, particularly when our tour guide advised us in strong tones not to draw attention to ourselves. Ha!

This was post-communist Moscow; admittedly one of the nicer parts of the Federation. Believe me friends, in a crowd, the gentlemen wearing a f*ck off Soviet coat and hat _always_ attracts attention. I fitted in like Boy George at a Klan rally.

Got away with just a bloody nose though. Silly bugger.

PS On the same trip, we had to take a sleeper train to St Petersburg. About 10pm, a rather burly guard opened our compartment door, and opened his bulging coat for our viewing pleasure - thinking that he was some crazy pervert, we were more surprised instead by the ten bottles of vodka lining his coat! Cue quick exchange of cash, and lashings of neat, rocket fuel spirits.

Apologies? Bah!
( alcuin, Thu 21 Apr 2005, 17:16, Reply)