Drains
About four years ago I moved in with my partner. We were close but we were still getting to know each other’s habits and idiosyncrasies. One warm evening in Torquay, we had just gone to bed after a long day at work and I had opened the bedroom window to let some cool air in the bedroom.

What Jen didn’t know was that I have terrible farts and can be at my most farty at night / morning (usually a few hours after dinner).
When she was gently tucked up and starting to drift off to sleep, I managed to let off a gut wrenching (silent) fart which smelt like someone had died in a sewer.

I kept quiet.

A few minutes later, Jen turned over to me and said “Oh My God! What is that terrible SMELL!!!”. I very calmly replied “It’s the drains outside. The hot weather must have caused them to smell really bad”. “Can you close the window” she replied!
I had a very difficult time trying to contain my hysterical laughter but I did what she said and closed the window. For the next five minutes, I had to bite the duvet to help contain my laughter.

The perfect crime!

...She knows better than to trust me now!
(RJWEcology is just sharpening his axe on, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 16:05, Reply)