One morning, the former Mr Quar was enthroned in the the bathroom and the door opened a little.
He called out to our 3 year-old, 'Sonny! Will you go and ask Mum for some toilet paper for me please?'

Unknown to the ex, I was in the bedroom next door. I sent Sonny back to ask, 'Mum says, do you want NEWSPAPER?'
'No, Sonny, tell mum I want TOILET paper.'

Sonny returned with Dad's request and this time I offered sandpaper. No, Daddy would like TOILET paper, please.

As little Sonny was so articulate and diligent, and the ex was so stupid, I was able to send Sonny back many times to offer creative alternatives to toilet paper: wallpaper, a coathanger, a wire brush, a cactus, a handful of gravel, a broken bottle, etc, all of which Daddy politely refused.

I suppose I eventually caved in and sent Sonny in with a bogroll but all I can actually remember is kneeling on the bedroom floor with my face buried in the duvet to stifle my laughter.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:20, 5 replies)

Nice
I would've loved for him to have sent over a cactus!
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 8:33, closed)

I want a child now, specially for this this reason.
(DBS, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 9:38, closed)

Try it
you won't be sorry.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 10:50, closed)

I bet he washed his arse in the bath, then dried it on your facecloth.
I know I would.
( Smallbrainfield, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:01, closed)

three year olds and broken glass don't mix well nowadays
you must be one of them 'old school' mums.
(Clit Ninja is having a white space party!, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:21, closed)