Just wrong
Deep, deep breath.

Ok – as ridiculous as it may sound, I have buried my experiences at university deep in the recesses of my mind. I genuinely get very, very angry when I recall them in detail and as a result rarely ever talk about them. So I am sure I will need some sort of tranquiliser after this.

I spent most of my first year miserable and depressed, after the systematic bullying of myself and two other flatmates. There were eight people to a corridor, five were guys and us three girls were the ones being targeted. Both myself and one of the other girls had a boyfriend, and the third girl was quite introverted. The fact that none of the guys were going to able to sleep with us was a possible contributing factor to their extreme nastiness and spiteful behaviour.

The ringleader of the fucktards was N – an outwardly charming and friendly guy who turned into a vicious and cruel bully if you didn’t worship him as some sort of leader, as the other guys did. He would made snide and horrible remarks about how everyone hated us, that we weren’t getting into the “party spirit”.

The idiots made best friends with some other apes from adjacent flats, and they spent most of their time round at ours, smoking weed and fags in the lounge, even though we’d asked them not to. If we dared enter the lounge when said male bonding was taking place we were verbally abused and laughed at.

The lounge and kitchen were a permanent state – absolutely disgusting and vile. We ended up having to buy our own mini fridges and portable grills for our rooms because the ape-men would throw our food and plates out of the window.

One of the apes was particularly nasty, and when drunk would attempt to physically or sexually assault any girl within range (usually me – I am so lucky), and once spent a good half an hour screaming racist abuse through the door of an Asian flatmate, who was too terrified to come out.

We made several appeals to the Managers and supervisors of the halls, the people who were supposed to protect us, but to no avail. We wrote down all the damage they had done to the flat (pulling curtains down, discharging all the fire extinguishers, smashing windows, throwing beer up the walls) but the hall Managers basically shrugged their shoulders and said that if the boys didn’t admit to doing it themselves it would still be coming out of all our deposits.

We spent as much time as possible away from the flat, and I returned one day to find that they had unscrewed the spyhole of my door from the outside and sprayed the fire extinguisher through it, ruining everything within range on the inside.

They knew one of the girls had a very important exam one day so the night before they came back at about three in the morning from whichever sleazy club they’d been at, made as much noise as possible for as long as they could stay awake, and then turned the hoover on in the corridor and left it running while they all went to bed in a drug-induced haze.

One night I was the only one in the flat, the girls having gone back home for the weekend to escape, and the boys came back from the student union with what seemed to be about 20-30 other people. What followed was the most awful, chaotic amount of noise I have ever heard. People kept trying to get into my room even though I had locked it, they were shouting abuse at me and each other. I could hear things smashing, people fighting and things ripping and breaking. After several hours the noise suddenly stopped (I found out later that the pathetic excuse for security guards had finally asked them nicely to disperse).

I cautiously ventured outside into the corridor and saw absolute destruction. Everything was ruined - the carpets, the walls, the chairs, the tables, the sofas. Everything had beer, sick, drink or blood on it. I was astounded to see one of the boys standing, topless in a weird trance in the middle of it all, he had scratches down his back and he couldn’t focus on me.

I went absolutely, fucking mental. Bat shit crazy. I screamed and screamed and screamed at this guy to start cleaning everything up or I would fucking kill him and his entire family. He had no idea where the other guys had gone.

After much confused slurring he finally seemed to realise that they had really gone too far, and started to half-heartedly clean up. I went back to bed in an apocalyptic rage. Thankfully the end of the year was only weeks away by this point and they were barely civil for the duration.

The really sad thing is, I was looking forward to university so much. I am a friendly, sociable person. I like to get drunk and have a great time with my friends. That year at university affected me for years afterwards, I was angry at everyone – me for not sticking up for myself more – my university for not helping us when we asked for it – my friends from home for having an amazing time in their first years.

But mostly I hated them. Those fucking bastards who ruined it all. They turned me into an introverted, unsociable, unconfident person who struggled to find the energy to have a good time. It’s only now, nearly 6 years later, that I finally feel like me again – such was the way they wore me down.

I wish I could say my next 2 years at uni were better, in some ways they were worse! But I won’t go into that, that first year was hard enough to tell.

Apologies for length, it’s probably as long as the noose I’d like to string them up with.
(posage As I turned the corner I felt muscular and compact, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:18, 15 replies)

Glad you feel that you are back to yourself now.
If you need a hand with revenge, I would help you out, although I bet they have already ruined their own lives. What do you know about them these days?
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:26, closed)

Not a massive amount
...but I hear most of them have managed to fuck up their lives, piss off their parents and get dumped by most of the girls they've gone out with. Sadly none of them have been hit by a bus yet but here's hoping!
(posage As I turned the corner I felt muscular and compact, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:31, closed)

Fingers crossed then hey!
Or perhaps brake cables cut...

If you could really get revenge on them, would you? I know i would get medieval on their asses. Cut their eyes out with a spoon or something!
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:49, closed)

This
has inspired me to take up a job as a busdriver.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 23:42, closed)

Ach, Sweetheart
I don't normally do the *hugs* thing over the sad posts, but my heart goes out to you, as I've been ground-up in the bullymill also.

I wanted to say that it sounds like you did exactly the right things, given the circumstances. Asking the appropriate authorities for help was the most mature and constructive form of standing up for yourself that you could have taken from such a vulnerable position.

And, yes, they failed you, but that is not your fault.


Umm... hugs. x
(HaHa!Snakes! was last seen on, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:39, closed)

Sadly
the college authorities would probably only have been bothered to do anything about it if you'd used the words "legal action", that's the minimum it takes to get them to do anything about bullies and vandals.

Most of the time, it seems that the Halls administrators think "oh, just students in high spirits" and ignore complaints. That's what happened in my halls when we complained about one particularly loathsome individual: vomming, shitting in the girls showers, sexually assaulting every nork in range, and running up and down the corridors at 4am screaming and banging on doors. He was a nightmare. They only gave him a ticking-off after he'd smashed the glass in the fire doors (with his head) and someone else cut their feet quite badly on it.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 11:56, closed)

That sounds awful...but also familiar.
I think every halls has a group of cnuts who live like animals and spoil it for everyone. Usually they are the rich kids from posh public schools and have cars bought by mummy & daddy.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:09, closed)

similar situation
the fire extinguisher through the spyhole thing is a fucking nightmare to clean up, particularly when they perpetraitors are laughing about it, making it a joke. so i repaid them but used cress seeds and water thrown under the door while they were away for christmas, they didn't see the funny side.
shame that a bunch of wankers ruined your first year.
(Captain Benzo Panda fighting, live on tuesdays., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:15, closed)

Thanks guys
Really nice of you all, I hope all your sucky flatmates got their come-uppances, I think the best revenge is living a lot better than them in the end, although the cress seeds idea warmed the cockles of my heart :)
(posage As I turned the corner I felt muscular and compact, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 12:46, closed)

Therapy 'n everything
Had a similar experience in my second year at uni, lived with some potheads who didn't care about what they did and how it affected others. Plus when I objected to one of their gf's coming around and using our house as a hotel the other guys in the house didn't back me up as they had insisted they would. Cue me getting paranoid, hating living there and developing social phobia. Thought I was going crazy but after 3 months counselling and my great gf helping me through, everything is back to normal, just as you though, I suspect didn't have exactly the time I was expecting at uni. One day though I'll be back for my Masters!!
(chequebookvandal, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:00, closed)

What a bunch of absolute cunts.
Rest assured, karma'll take a damn good run up and do 'em in.
*hugs*
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:14, closed)

I am upset and angry
for you.
Such a shame.
But you're getting better now?

Oh, happy birthday for a couple of days ago.

But overall: How the hell do people do that and not feel guilty? Especially smashing a random flat up - I don't understand the mentality.
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:38, closed)

You should not have bothered with the university security
You should have simply called the police. These thugs were guilty of criminal damage, harrassment, intimidation, sexual and racist abuse. All crimes. They would have been thrown out of university at the very least.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 19:28, closed)

It's posts like these that * clickyhugs * were invented for.
"I like this" just isn't appropriate, but I hope it helps to have shared your story.

Have a hug!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 23:47, closed)

How do people like this get into uni?
I'm speechless - they sound like sexist racist thugs. I wonder if they treat their own houses this way!

The university really failed you. I hope it was carthartic to write it; I can understand why recalling it would put you into a rage!

Have a sympathy click.
(Ovaltina, Thu 5 Mar 2009, 0:09, closed)