Snivelling Health & Safety Tosser...
/unlurks

Below is an email dredged from my 'Sent items'

I had what could be described as 'the right arse' with an email I was forwarded. Thought I'd forward it to various former colleagues to see what they thought...

My edits are marked in (brackets)...

Email:-
**************************************

From: (Veni Vidi Lurki)
To: (Various former colleagues)
Subject: FW: Helpdesk Procedures?

Dear All,

I wonder if you can help answer the question posed below.

One of our over–worked stalwarts took time off from cracking-one-off over pictures of livestock to raise the following point regarding my modus operandi today

I would be interested in your professional opinion of the Risk Assessment discussed in this communication:-

******************************************************************************************

Subject: Helpdesk Procedures?
Importance: High

Hi(SNIP),

Not sure if you are the right person to ask this of? Please forward it to the appropriate manager if not.

This morning we had someone (who I think is called (Veni Vidi Lurki)?) come round to (SNIP) to look at her desktop PC. He recommended that it needed more memory and to tell her how much to buy he had to open the PC case.

As H&S adviser I am very concerned that he did not turn off the PC at the mains nor disconnect it before opening the case.


(Not enough to come running over shouting “NNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!” though, or even mentioning it at the time… Which surely constitutes negligence???)


I assume that however carefully one opens the box, there is a risk of dropping the metal casing or touching it onto the electrical parts inside and if the chassis is live there is a real possibility of electric shock to him or his customer.

Please would you confirm whether there is a Risk Assessment in place for this operation, if not I consider and recommend that there should be, and that all your 'troubleshooters' should be aware of it.

rgds

(SNIP)
European (Important stuff) Manager
(MyCompany)
+44 (0) **** ** ****

******************************************************************************************

My Risk Assessment of opening the case & looking inside with the power on is in the same league as going to the zoo & looking at the caged lions without taking the precaution of getting the zookeeper to shoot them with tranquilliser darts beforehand

I am however interested in your views...

************************************

/email ends
/relurks
(Veni Vidi Lurki had attitude constipation on, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 22:15, 12 replies)

I agree with you
And I currently have 2 computers operating with the case off in this very room. I suppose you could get a shock if you accidentally dropped/shoved a screwdriver into the PSU though.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 22:18, closed)

Only need finger & thumb to undo case m8
& shoving a screwdriver into PSU would have to be deliberate act anyway.

Just remembered, I used to regularly use a PC with a live case in a dodgy internet cafe in Thailand. I was barefoot (In Thai it's polite to take off your shoes before you go indoors) & sweaty ('cos it's hot!)

Every time I had to unplug my USB camera I had to remember to lift my feet off the tiled floor otherwise I'd get that lovely 50Hz buzz through my body & blue sparks would jump between the plug & the socket. Seemed to survive at least a dozen hits with no bad effects apart from swearing...
(Veni Vidi Lurki had attitude constipation on, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 22:36, closed)

I was once shouted at
for walking down a loading bay and climbing up the grass embankment to talk to the plant manager. "Do you have any idea how many OSHA regulations you just broke?" she roared up at me from her five feet of height. "Don't ever let me see you do that again!"

I calmly said, "These aren't the droids you're looking for," and fluttered my fingers significantly.

She blue-screened for a moment before chuckling, so I give her some credit at least.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 22:36, closed)

Well deserved
*CLICK!*
( Reginald Von Hammercock, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 2:13, closed)

Geekiest response
EVER
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 7:57, closed)

you get a click for
"blue screened"
(MrChimp previously Monsieur, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 14:50, closed)

You probably know this anyway...
But you're unlikely to get a shock from anything beyond the mains connector on the back of the PSU, the largest voltage differential inside a PC case is between the +12v and -12v lines and you would have to reach in and lick this to get anywhere near a shock. Most of the internals run at 5v or 3.3v.

You can quite happily work on 50V with bare hands, we do at work all the time and god knows our employers are not into ignoring even the most tedious bits of H&S. 120V does give a proper tingle up the arm if your pliers aren't insulated but even then there's no H&S mandated protection or special tools for working on it.
(fridgefreezer inserted a topical reference into his sig on, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 0:34, closed)

Exactly
'Real possibility of electric shock to him or his customer'.. my bell end!

'As H&S adviser I am very concerned' so I will not even bother asking the name of the person involved, let alone say "Oi! Don't you think you should unplug it first?". Better to just quietly email someone about procedural matters...
(Veni Vidi Lurki had attitude constipation on, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 0:55, closed)

Heh.
My pc never used to have a lid on it, I used to take it round a mates and play lan games, it was easier to carry (and swop components about) if i got rid of the lid.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 1:20, closed)

Is there a Risk Assesment -
- for workers becoming indifferent to real hazards, due to them being masked by the endless stream of drivel about imaginary dangers?

At my old place, the biggest dangers to safety was the most senior H+S person. A bit pointless to make new recruits sit through a mandatory training video on the moving-edge safety knives
(possibly the safest items we use), if you're going to let the site manager lock fire doors in an occupied building.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 6:13, closed)

If it's still plugged in
isn't it earthed? Therefore safer against static shock on the chips?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:18, closed)

H&S officers
are dicks. I actually got reported one day on-site for climbing a ladder. To get to a first storey roof. While wearing a full harness. And arrestors. And ropes. And lanyards. They have no fucking clue about what is actually involved in a normal working environment, but will force their arse-headed approach to all and sundry at their whim.
In the same job, I had an H&S rep moan because I propped a sign against a wall until I could move it. Lacking a risk assessment and and F10 apparently. Honestly - they're just useless cunts.

Also, time and motion assessors. I know, I'll stand doing fuck-all, watch you do your job, then postulate at length to you about how you could do it better.

Very good. I don't tell you how to stick your finger up your arse and be as much use as a cock-flavoured lolly, so don't tell me how to do my job.
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 15:15, closed)