Naked Kids
I was sitting on the beach in Italy, enjoying the sunshine and a rather intense book about the end of the world. I felt the warmth of the Tuscan sun on my skin, heard the sound of the ocean lapping on the shore and children running about and enjoying their youthful freedom.

Now this is where the problem lies. I feel that some parents go a little overboard with the whole freedom / innocence thing, letting their little treasures run around naked in public places. I wouldn't normally have too much of a problem with this, and merely divert my eyes at the sight of one of these fleshy pink blobs. On this occasion, however I found myself staring at a small child (of around 4 years) rolling in the sand, wearing nothing at all.

Now I'm no kiddiefiddler, but when his sister, (maybe 2 years his junior) strolled over, also butt nekkie the whole situation got a bit more intense. I tried to pull my eyes away, but could only stare in horror as she gave three firm tugs on his PENIS. Arms behind his head, eyes closed and a smirk on his face - and I...weeped. The image most imbedded in my mind is that of his tanned genitalia, stretched to twice it's normal length. And it frankly ruined my holiday. Now I'm officially a paeodophile.

And this wasn't even my first offense - about a year previous to this I was with some friends in the local park. It was early evening and all the kids were about to head home for bed. There was one child who stood out as being the most mischievous, constantly causing his mother grief and grinning at everyone. Clearly there was more going on in that 3 year olds head than anyone bargained for.
I was just walking alongside the climbing frame, mindful of the fact that this child was in my vicinity unattended. I would like to stress that I could not see him at this point, as we were seperated by a large wooden board. As I walked past said board, I was greeted by said child's full frontal offering, pants at his ankles. He was stood on the climbing frame, I was stood on the floor and our height differences and the height of the climbing frame could not have been more tragic. Naked Kid's penis was approximately one foot from my nose.

Things went into slow motion from this point onwards, I reeled back in disgust just in time to see his stream of justice leak all over the spongey playground floor. I'd like to imagine that I jumped out the way just in time a la Tom Cruise, but in reality my shoes just got covered in his splashback. So I went home and cried myself to sleep...
(Daveypants laffo, Tue 22 Aug 2006, 15:55, Reply)