Accidental innuendo
Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"
What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"
What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context
( , Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
« Go Back
PE teacher
There is a set up here, all true, which explaings the note...
When messing about with me sister, we decided to see how many stairs we could jump down. i regularly didn't use the bottom 4 stairs on the way down and decide that 6 steps (out of 13) was pretty decent. So did it a few times until i landed with al the skill of Les Dennis on the Games. Flat footed and really badly bruised both feet. i couldn't walk without walking on the bruises.
Come PE day, there was no way i could play rugby ( called that but really was lots of cross country running in the rain ).
At last, a legit reason for a note. Mum dutifully writes one and puts in an envelope.
I hand in the note. He moans and walks off and i set about the 1 hour 20 minutes of double PE and the skiving in the warm with applomb. About half hour in he comes over to me pissing himself laughing and asking if i was lying? I said no my feet really hurt. He then probed deeper, and enquired exactly how i did such damage to myself? i explained i jumped down the stairs, and he just said "well how the f*ck did you hurt your testicles then?"
I was confused. Really confused and started to get a bit scared. I stated again i jumped down the stairs and landed heavy.
I then thought to ask to see the note. Well done mum.
" Dear Mr Davies. Barry cannot do PE today as he has jumped down the stairs and hurt his balls and heels of his feet."
Mum 1, Grammar Fairies 0
( , Mon 16 Jun 2008, 14:28, 3 replies)
There is a set up here, all true, which explaings the note...
When messing about with me sister, we decided to see how many stairs we could jump down. i regularly didn't use the bottom 4 stairs on the way down and decide that 6 steps (out of 13) was pretty decent. So did it a few times until i landed with al the skill of Les Dennis on the Games. Flat footed and really badly bruised both feet. i couldn't walk without walking on the bruises.
Come PE day, there was no way i could play rugby ( called that but really was lots of cross country running in the rain ).
At last, a legit reason for a note. Mum dutifully writes one and puts in an envelope.
I hand in the note. He moans and walks off and i set about the 1 hour 20 minutes of double PE and the skiving in the warm with applomb. About half hour in he comes over to me pissing himself laughing and asking if i was lying? I said no my feet really hurt. He then probed deeper, and enquired exactly how i did such damage to myself? i explained i jumped down the stairs, and he just said "well how the f*ck did you hurt your testicles then?"
I was confused. Really confused and started to get a bit scared. I stated again i jumped down the stairs and landed heavy.
I then thought to ask to see the note. Well done mum.
" Dear Mr Davies. Barry cannot do PE today as he has jumped down the stairs and hurt his balls and heels of his feet."
Mum 1, Grammar Fairies 0
( , Mon 16 Jun 2008, 14:28, 3 replies)
Incest, in jest...
"when messing about with me sister" - ooh-arr!
( , Mon 16 Jun 2008, 14:55, closed)
"when messing about with me sister" - ooh-arr!
( , Mon 16 Jun 2008, 14:55, closed)
« Go Back