InsultsLast week two kids ran past me, one chasing the other. As they passed, the little boy turns to the girl chasing him and screams, "go away, you, you... you GIRLPANTS."
She stopped dead, cut to the core. Well, sort of. Anyway, we've added it to our repertoire, but are keen to expand further our sweary lexicon. What's the best insult you've heard? How effective was it? How did they retaliate?
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chthonic, Thu 4 Oct 2007, 12:48)
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When I was in the NavyI was on a one year engineering course at a secret location near Gosport. There were 12 of us on the course, all junior Officers getting ready to join our first ships. As I'm sure you can imagine, it was all very polite and well mannered stuff. Rah, rah, rah!
Finding things all a bit easy, after a couple of months, we had perfected a routine where we would get lunch over and done with as fast as possible to give ourselves maximum time for chucking beer down our throats and playing snooker, before going off to play with some rotating machinery in the afternoon. Clearly, this plan depended on getting into lunch early before the queues built up. This meant that anything delaying the end of the last morning lecture was unwelcome - to put it politely
Anyway, it was approaching lunchtime one day and a long and boring lecture on diesel engines was coming to and end.
Sat at the front were the two girls on our course. The 12 of us all got on fine, but this was the days when a lot of the older blokes in the Navy were not terribly used to working with women. And the lecturer that day was one of them. On reaching the end of his notes, he asked if there were any questions - as his Instructional Technique training had taught him.
Well, one of the girls (the ginger one) had a question. Oh dear.
The bloke sat next to me was so utterly bewildered and outraged that the beer plan was under threat that before the question was asked he blurted out 'OH SHUT UP, YOU STUPID GINGER BITCH'.
Brilliant! The old boy lecturing didn't know what to do. How should he react, the poor sod had spent most of the previous 20 years at sea and was just stood there looking bewildered. Naturally, we were all laughing our heads off.
He dismissed the class and asked Ginge to stay behind, where he asked her if she was alright. Bless.
Yes, she was fine, but as a result was late for lunch and missed her beer and snooker. That'll learn her - the Stupid Ginger Bitch.
Length? Your mum. Or something.
(, Mon 8 Oct 2007, 5:16, Reply)
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