Karma? And then some boyo!
I've never been one for the ladies. I like them fine, but 99% of the time, they end up as friends and nothing more. Hence my current marital state of "single"

Back in 2005 I was living in Cardiff and working nearby for a electricity company. I started seeing this girl, I'll call her Jen because that was her name.

I liked her a lot, she was my first girlfriend, and my first in a lot of other things as well. I was falling for her in a big way.

We'd see each other most weekends, and occasionally, I had a phone call that she was on her way to see me. She lived about an hours drive away with her brother.

Amazed by the level of attention I was getting from a reasonably attractive person of the opposite sex, I was starting to fall in love with her.

I called her one evening, as she'd been complaining of an ex-boyfriend stalking her and she was worried. I was too, after all, I didn't want her getting hurt or scared. On this occasion, her brother answered the phone and asked me never to call that number again. I was a little confused.

Over the next few months, my life started to fall to pieces. The company moved location, I started to run low on funds and had to abandon the flat I had and move back in with parents, and generally start to rebuild my life. The only good thing I had going was Jen.

Only it wasn't.

Over a period of two weeks, I went from being happy and in love to finding out Jen didn't live with her brother, but with her boyfriend, and that she wasn't only two-timing him with me, but with three other people. This girl who I worshipped referred to me as "one of her bits on the side"

I felt pretty sick at this point. My life had gone into the crapper within 3 months.

One evening, while my parents were out. I took all of the pills I had (Anti-depressants, painkillers, sleeping pills) and a large glass of water and laid them on the table in front of me. I stared at them for hours, gathering up the courage to take them, when my IM pinged and a friend appeared. She guessed pretty much from my responses that I was down, and I told her about the pills. Despite being in the US, and this being 3am, she got off IM, and called me. We spent about an hour talking, with me crying most of the time. She told me to put the pills away. I credit her with saving my life that night. (Thanks Da)

My life took a long time to put back together. I left the company I was with because it still put me in contact with Jen. I found a job closer to home which paid for a holiday in the USA, then left that job to work in England. From there, the company has moved me from England to the UAE where, instead of a crappy one bedroom flat in the Roath area of Cardiff, I have a 2 bedroom villa near the mountains and Persian Gulf.

And Jen? I couldn't give a flying funk where she is. the last I heard is that her live in boyfriend had kicked her out, she was on antidepressants (which I haven't needed in years), living with one of her other bits on the side and generally living like a chav.
(thatguythere is wondering where he is, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 10:48, 3 replies)

Good Work!
Well done for having the strength to mentally (& physically) pull yourself out of that mess.

Your American friend sounds amazing.

You sound like a sweet guy and next time you'll find someone that deserves your love. These things happen to teach us a lesson. Take what wisdom you can into your next romance.

Good luck to you! xxx
(MizStinky, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 13:23, closed)

Romance?
The sad fact is I have a pretty bad fear of asking girls out. :(

So I'm in the process of becoming a lifelong bachelor. I'm even becoming the target of neighbourhood cats who are spending more and more time on my balcony.
(thatguythere is wondering where he is, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 12:10, closed)

Nothing wrong with that
Nothing wrong with being a lifetime bachelor (or bachelorette).
What do you spend your money on? The things YOU want to spend it on.
What did you do last night? The things YOU wanted to do.
Where's that plate? Oh, right - where YOU left it.
Who's the last person who chastised you for forgetting to vacuum? YOU.
Where to go on holiday? Someplace YOU enjoy.

Not trying to knock the committed-relationship situation, of course...just pointing out that there are positive aspects to both!
(chase, Tue 26 Feb 2008, 15:39, closed)