Tortoise trauma
Many years ago a lad in our street (let's call him Iain) had a tortoise (let's call him Tommy).

Now he was quite a big tortoise and quite old so his shell was probably commensurately thick and Iain was always boasting about how strong he, Tommy, was; throwing him in the air, standing on his back, hitting him with half bricks etc. Absolutely shocking behaviour I agree and definitely worthy of a severe spanking. Attend though, dear friends, Iain gets his comeuppance.

One day when up to his usual reptile abuse he stooped to a new low. He'd jump off the top of his coal bunker onto Tommy's back. What he didn't count on though was that Tommy's shell had become a bit slimy - I think possibly from being kept outside all summer long in all kinds of weather (yes, another example of animal cruelty).

Of course when he landed on Tommy he skited off like shit off a stick and rattled his head violently off the corner of concrete coal box.

Emergency services were immediately called to this explosion of karmic retribution. Iain lay unconscious for about twenty minutes. He had factured his skull (to this day the only time I've ever witnessed the legendary "straw coloured fluid" seeping from the ears) and needed about 15 stitches in the resultant wound. If I recall he spent about a fortnight in hospital where amongst other probable indignities he had his head completely shaved. Tommy, you'll be happy to hear, was uninjured.

When it came out what had happened and the many other examples of previous abuse were wheedled out of the witnesses Tommy was confiscated and re-homed with a couple on the other side of the village.

My old mum still stays close by and I understand Tommy is still on the go, happy as Larry and none the worse for his ordeals.
( Ramsay Tupper, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 9:50, 6 replies)

silly boy
im afriad i would have done something severe to that little lad.... like hit him in the head with a baseball bat then try and break bricks over it too. And i would have doused his parents in petrol and set them on fire. There is only one thing in this world that reduces me to tears and provokes violent reactions from me and thats the thought of animal abuse. Makes me wonder what his parents did for a living? stamp on kittens?

sorry not ranting at you, just displaying my imense distaste at this story/little boy and said parents.
(Serbitar Has a furry shit canon called Whitey., Wed 27 Feb 2008, 11:02, closed)

In response to serbitar above
I would have hit him over the head with Tommy

that'd larn him
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 11:18, closed)

Serbitar
I agree with you completely with this. If I could have my way (and if I was the god of the underworld), he would spend all eternity being jumped on from a height by a large, spike-covered tortoise-demon. Or something like that.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 11:37, closed)

Hooray
One of Karmas finest moments.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 11:55, closed)

Deliberate and malicious...
... animal cruelty. It's just wrong. Accidental ("Oh bugger, I just sat on your cat!") isn't anywhere near as bad. But when you're just trying to be cruel it's awful.

Still a fractured skull and 15 stitches should learn him some, no?
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 12:05, closed)

.
Animal cruelty provokes simlar feelings in me, but only for a second. I tend to remember that there are kids out there getting the same treatment, and that riles me to the point of forgetting about the animals.
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 12:36, closed)