operation bog wipe flush
Love kids, was one and more often than not I act like one. However when I was around 13 there was an strange occasion when I had to baby sit a 5 year old during the day. All was going well when my tv watching was disturbed by singing coming from the loo. The tune went something along the lines of

“I’ve done a poo, and I’ve finished,
I’ve done a poo, and I’ve finished,
So please come and ……….”

This singing continued until I decided to go and investigate. The door to the loo was wide open and the girl in question to my horror presents her bum to be wiped. This is when I discovered the true meaning to the lyrics of the song “…so please come and wipe my bum”.
Now I was way out of my league here. Firstly I had only agreed to look after her for a hour or so in the day. Secondly I hardly new her, to me she was a random child of my mums friend. Thirdly I had had very little experience in wiping other people’s bums (and still do, thank god).
Despite her charming song and character, I stuck to my guns and talked her through the operation from a safe distance. Hiding behind the door, and thinking surely this isn’t normal.
(kurious orange, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 11:25, 2 replies)

I've done that too
In my case, however, the child was 7. Surely that's old enough to wipe your own bum without being talked through the procedure?
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 14:01, closed)

One of my brothers used to sing,

"Just muuuuummy!
Just muuuuummy!
Come and wipe my boooo-ttommmmm!"

over and over until Mum did as he requested.

They had to stop him after he did it while Dad's boss was over for tea. Boss found it frikkin' hilarious, the parents, not so much.

I found a perverse joy in teaching the same song to his daughter when she was old enough, only with the change to, "Just DAAAAADDDEEEEEEEE!"

She preferred to poo in the back yard like the dog at the time, so the neighbours all got a treat as well!
(Celerydemon, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 17:50, closed)