Amazing myself that I'm sharing this but
my ex accused me of child abuse to withhold access to my daughter. I got arrested (but not charged, I hasten to add). This was back in the early 90s, when child abuse fears were even greater than they are now.
So I went from seeing my daughter every fortnight for a long weekend, to not seeing her for some years.
Everything is fine - now. She's 20 and understands, to a point, what happened. Although there is still a part of her who is the child who wondered why her loving daddy disappeared.
All I can say is that almost every child wants to know who their parent is. My advice would be to all parents in this situation is remember that, God willing, you will have more of your life with your child when they are not a child, i.e. grown up. Yes, you may have missed their childhood through no fault of yours, and you can't get that back. But once they are old enough, you can have an independent relationship with them and show them that you always cared and always loved them. Forcing the issue to get access with a pyscho parent who will poison the child against you might not be the best option from the child's prospective - just makes them a casualty of war.
My heart goes out to all of you - but take courage from my tale, there can and hopefully will be happy endings to your stories.
( I_Was_Mordred, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 16:54, Reply)