Lies I told on my CV
I've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.
My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.
( , Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
I've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.
My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.
( , Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
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I have qualifications
...according to my CV. Not true. I'm just experienced.
See, I wrote my CV on my dad's computer, years ago, and I'd lied to him about finishing that college course. I figured after dropping out of university for being a lazy cnut, he'd be angry if I failed as miserably at my HND.
So he never knew I was just an 'A' Level guy. I needed his help getting the CV in order, so he was going to see what I'd written, and I was living at home for this jobless period, so he got to see the printed versions I sent out too.
I got a job, and no-one checked.
And another one.
And another...
It still says I have an HND on my CV. It's stayed firmly on the file, no matter what other updates I've made over the years.
I'm used as a consultant on all matters legal and scientific due to my "qualifications".
Bollocks - I've just got thirteen years of work in the field.
( , Thu 6 Jul 2006, 16:14, Reply)
...according to my CV. Not true. I'm just experienced.
See, I wrote my CV on my dad's computer, years ago, and I'd lied to him about finishing that college course. I figured after dropping out of university for being a lazy cnut, he'd be angry if I failed as miserably at my HND.
So he never knew I was just an 'A' Level guy. I needed his help getting the CV in order, so he was going to see what I'd written, and I was living at home for this jobless period, so he got to see the printed versions I sent out too.
I got a job, and no-one checked.
And another one.
And another...
It still says I have an HND on my CV. It's stayed firmly on the file, no matter what other updates I've made over the years.
I'm used as a consultant on all matters legal and scientific due to my "qualifications".
Bollocks - I've just got thirteen years of work in the field.
( , Thu 6 Jul 2006, 16:14, Reply)
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