Some replies
Che Grimsdale: I hope that your post was not really intended to be insulting, because this is how it comes across. However I will give you the benefit of the doubt and reply sincerely.

Firstly - not that it's any of your business, but my wife is older than I am and she was a British citizen long before I met her. I don't speak of her "guardedly" - or any other particular way. I am merely telling a funny story, which I hoped would be of amusement to people on B3ta. It's not often that I have an amusing anecdote which perfectly fits a QOTW - which is why I don't post much, and most of my contributions here are replies to other people's stories. Unfortunately I lack the creative writing skills of many others here, who seem to be able to answer almost every QOTW. Sockpuppet? Seriously?

The "Daily Fail" post - I'm assuming that when you describe it as "epic", you're referring to the entire thread - because the OP was nothing special.

Regarding Eurovision, it baffles me why the fuck I should have to justify a hobby. Every person has his own tastes, and they're all different. There are many things which other people are fanatical about, which I personally don't see the attraction - and this is surely the same for you too. Take for example football: apart from supporting England in the World Cup, I couldn't give a shit about it. Are you a football fan? Maybe you are, or maybe not. Perhaps you also don't see the attraction in football... but do you ever ask a football fan to justify his liking for the sport?

Anyway, as Broken Arrow asked so nicely, I will respond. Not to justify my liking, but to explain some fairly obvious things which, sadly, many people miss.

Everyone has their own tastes in music. My taste is eclectic, but there are some things I can not enjoy: for example (c)rap, or drum & bass. To really enjoy a song I require a strong melody, and I particularly like songs with emotive and logical chord progressions. Unfortunately, many (not all) contemporary songs from the UK and USA have weak melodies, and hollow chord sequences. It's not that way in continental Europe.

Eurovision is an avenue to better melodies. However, the first problem with Eurovision is that the casual viewer will only hear the song once: on the big night. And if you take 25 songs, all three minutes long, presented in quick succession, then the first-time listener is unlikely to instantly fall in love with any of them. If you think about your own favourite songs, tell me how many of them became instant hits with you the very first time you heard them? Only a handful. The majority of songs need time to grow on you. Without repeated listenings, this time is not given - therefore the majority of Eurovision songs pass casual viewers by.

The second problem with Eurovision is that because the songwriters and choreographers are well aware that the casual viewer will only see/hear the song once, it is very tempting for them to put on a big show - an outrageous act, which will be remembered. Hence you get the circus acts which cause so much ridicule in the UK. The casual viewer will remember more the laughable acts, and forget about the good songs which never had a chance to grow on him.

I first got into Eurovision in 1993, when a friend - who had happened to be out for the evening - videoed the Contest in order to watch later - and then we watched it together. But because of the video, I was able to watch it again and again - and the good songs had a chance to grow on me, so I liked them more and more.

Not every song is wonderful. There are a lot of crap songs which are entered into the Contest: so those are the ones I skip. Most people don't love every single song from their favourite band, do they! Anyway - if you're still curious as to why someone would love Eurovision, here are a few links:

From 1971, the winner from Monaco
www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1tSXCssXcQ

Polish song from 1996. Dark and moody, but very good
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NMCEPUGtMA

Pop-rock from Estonia in 2005
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDkqtAx31H4

From the 1995 Swedish selection. The song means "The Most Beautiful"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PojP6lCRq0

Luxembourg 1984. You might call this cheesy - but it has a very strong melody, and is better than most of the dross in the UK today
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pexcukyq0MQ

Winner from Italy in 1964. A timeless masterpiece
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Utd9cHBPfRA

The UK's most recent winner in 1997. A rousing anthem
www.youtube.com/watch?v=106joSv-OSM

Pure pop from Russia - and one of the prettiest girls in the Contest
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JuSnJe_Jqc

So you see. It's not all Bucks Fizz and Boom Bang-A-Bang. You may like some of the above songs, you may not. Of course if you're into hip-hop and jazz, then you probably won't care for them - but this is all a matter of personal taste, and should not require explanation.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 11:03, 3 replies)

Methinks
he doth protest too much
(Skeuomorph, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 12:04, closed)

Wtf?
Protest?

I'm a nice guy trying to share a funny story on a website. If you don't like it then you can fuck off.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 19:36, closed)

Can you stop this belligerent campaign of trolling.
Thanks.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 21:24, closed)

?
I hope your children are born with no limbs.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Sun 11 Mar 2012, 22:59, closed)

Morning EuroSong
It's a lovely morning here, the sun is shining and I've just re-read my reply to your piece, and, for the first time, your reply above.

So let me apologise if I have hurt your feelings and also if I have read between the lines, without acutally reading the lines properly. As a bit of an old timer, I tend to think that b3tans are a hardy lot and forget that they can have feelings too. So sorry - and let me pull back those assertions I've cast.

Secondly, I too have what I like to think are pretty eclectic tastes in music. They range from Mozart, Gorecki, Fats Waller, Bowie/Eno/Talking Heads most of punk and reggae and more recently 'World' music with 'nouveau indie' thrown in for good luck. I don't listen to music radio at all and most new stuff comes from my daughter now.

The music I don't listen to includes: metal, garage, pop and anything likely to be played in a nightclub (since Donna Summer's 'I feel love' and 'Blue Monday'). I also have an aversion to ALL TV 'talent' shows which include any form of singing and/or dancing. So, OK: it's a fair cop - I've no idea what I'm talking about and I will take the time (at some point) to look at those links and give them some some serious consideration. In my collection I do have Bebel Gilberto, Massilia Sound System, Beirut, Renaud and others that could well be in this category.

As for a viewing experience though, I think I'll stick to Later with Jools Holland.

Friends?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 8:31, closed)

No problem
And thank you for your thoughtful reply.

It's not about "hurt feelings" - I mean, I don't know you! - but more about baffled amazement that anyone would choose to come to such bizarre conclusions without knowing me. Yes, b3tans are indeed a hardy lot - and I like nothing more than to read a thread full of mindless "your mum"-style insults.. but those are so obvious that they're funny, and usually made between friends anyway. So - again, thank you: apology accepted.

Regarding your musical taste - I've never heard of Fats Waller, Eno or Talking Heads: would you care to post a link or two to showcase some examples of the best?

Obviously if you don't like pop then Eurovision's not for you - and that's fine of course, but at least now I hope you can understand that there are people who do like it, who shouldn't have to justify why they have a particular taste in music :)

I totally agree with you about TV talent shows by the way. I would not sit through Celebrity X-Factor On Ice if you paid me. That's part of the problem in this country: the general public appear to be more interested in the pursuit of fame as an end in itself, instead of concentrating on actually writing good music. These talent shows showcase the artist: but they're just singing old songs anyway, and there is no new musical talent being displayed. This is in contrast to many other European countries, who have a tradition of song competitions where the song itself is the important factor, rather than the vocal talent of who's singing it.

Anyway - do let me know if you get a chance to look at those links, and do post a few of your own.

All the best.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 9:49, closed)

If melodic pop is your thing
Then I would recommend that you listen to these from Brian Eno/Talking Heads:

Eno - Backwater:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YitVQuOBuLc

Eno - This:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxOCdRdYzZw

Talking Heads - Nothing But Flowers (it is impossible to listen to this song and not be cheered up):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=068AFYvd58E
(Frank Snow, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 22:55, closed)

I don't see any mention of LORDI there.
Which I'm taking as conclusive evidence that you're some sort of gaymo.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 12 Mar 2012, 17:05, closed)

LORDI were cool
One of those happy examples where an extravagant performance coincides with a good song.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Mon 12 Mar 2012, 18:19, closed)

Fair enough, you're back on the MAN list.
You can collect your Bloke Card back at reception. Along with your free pint.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Mar 2012, 7:29, closed)