Late night drag racing in Essex
Back in the days of yuppies and affordable petrol, before anyone had ever heard of global warming, I used to drive a clapped out Jaguar XJS, wanting something a bit classier than the usual loutish essex boy racer cars of my contemporaries.

At about 3am I'm driving home from London after a long night at work, and I pull up at a set of lights on the outskirts of Romford. There are 3 lanes, me in the middle, and on my left a proper Essex wide boy, in a silver Porsche 911. He starts revving his engine like mad, and inching forward in stops and starts, and shouting something at me (god knows what, I couldn't hear it over his engine, but it was clear he's going to race me no matter what, and wipe the floor with my sedate V12 cruiser). I look over to my right, where there are two young-ish blokes in a fairly fast looking Ford Sierra. With a tip of my head, I indicate the Porsche driver, and with a barely imperceptible nod, the passenger shows he understands perfectly.

A few tense adrenalin-filed moments pass before the light goes amber. Either side of me, I hear squeals of tyre smoke. I, however sit there, until the amber turns to green, and then push the accellerator, gently, wafting off into the night to the strains of the BBC world service. The Porsche spins it's wheels and heads for the horizon at an insane pace. The Sierra also waits a moment, and in that moment, the passenger breifly tips his hat to me, before it too zooms into the night with as much zest and urgency as the Porsche, but with slightly more blue flashing lights on top.
( Andy_R At the third stroke, the time will be precisely, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 12:25, 13 replies)

Hahahahahahaha
I've got to the age where I nod almost imperceptibly at coppers, in an unspoken agreement of having patched up our differences and realising that we're actually probably on the same side.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 12:29, closed)

Kept me wondering right till end
And what a beautiful ending too. Well played

This for the win!
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 12:58, closed)

Please please please please
please please please please let it be true.

Well told. I doff my cap to you also.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 13:01, closed)

Just outstanding.
I hope you cruised past the scene a minute or two later as they took down his details.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 11 Feb 2011, 13:50, closed)

Thanks
That would have been the perfect ending, but I didn't see which way they went at the next junction (Gallows Corner, which has about 5 possible exits).
( Andy_R At the third stroke, the time will be precisely, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 13:02, closed)

Expertly written
That is all.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:08, closed)

Click.
Articulate and very well told. Nice one.
(anvil, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:28, closed)

I know this road well.
Driven back along here many a Friday/Saturday night.

I'd been bowling one evening and a friend was on his bike (RGV250 if I remember) with his bowling back in his rucksack. He blatted off at a fair old rate way ahead of me.

The next day he told me he'd been approaching these lights at near-on 140 when they were red, and was debating if he should stop or not (it was about 12am). He decided to stop, and as he gently pulled up at the lights he saw the two coppers on bikes sitting at the side road.

I'm not sure if they'd even see him go past, let along catch up, but I'd put it down to a lucky escape!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:38, closed)

Can I add my voice to all the other crawly bumlicks?
This is a masterfully crafted little vignette. Clicky.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 11 Feb 2011, 16:56, closed)

Lights in the UK
Go yellow before green as well as red? That just makes so much more sense.
(raulduke, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 17:06, closed)

Red - Red & Amber - Green - Amber - Red - Etc.

Expertly told sir!

*click*
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 18:16, closed)

bloody
beautiful!
(W3BOPLASTY, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 2:23, closed)

Full of win!
'ave a click
( snee held his breath since, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 11:16, closed)