Fat wanker
A few years ago I was visiting Ye Olde London Towne to see one of my friends, who had recently bought a new flat.

Said flat was somewhere in the sticks, so once I had suitably "oohed" and "aahed" at her interior decorating we decided to hop on the tube and wander around central London for a bit.

Unfortunately, there was some kind of football match going on, meaning the trains were crammed with supporters of the bald head/fat beer belly kind. Pretty sure they were wearing blue - so perhaps Chelsea? Either way I fucking hate football - sorry. Mostly because of twats like these.

So - we squeezed ourselves in right by the doors, we didn't take up much room being relatively small ladies among a sea of straining lard, who were all loudly swearing/singing/being general cunts to the rest of the commuters. Not one person dared say anything to them, despite the spilling of beer over people's clothes and the various borderline racist/sexist/homophobic things they were saying.

Being right by the doors meant that every time the train pulled into a stop we would have to press ourselves into the glass partition to let people on/off. Being extremely polite it involved lots of "oof, sorry, terribly sorry, oh that's ok, no problem" etc etc, despite being elbowed, shoved and crushed by the football supporters.

Finally, the train stopped at the destination at which most of these neanderthals decided they wanted to depart. They all heaved their heavy, sweaty frames past us, stomachs straining under their poorly fitting polyester.

I felt a sharp pain in my side as one of them, a particularly lovely specimen in his 50s with a bunch of his mates, caught me with his fleshy elbow. He barely looked at me as he said:

"Sorry lahv"

I grimaced in response, and was astounded to then hear him say in a particularly smug tone (as he stepped off the train with the rest of them):

"But you might wanna wait until everyone's off before you try getting on the train, alright lahv?".

I HATE being called "love", especially by utter fucktards like this. I also double-hated the fact that he had admonished me for something which I hadn't actually been guilty of, and I triple-hated the fact that this was after a nightmare journey with a train full of bell-ends like him.

I watched him start to saunter away with his fat friends and the rest of the fuckers. I looked at the rest of the commuters breathing a sigh of relief that they had all gone. The rage rose within me.

"ACTUALLY" - I shouted after him (my face turning red to match my sundress - this was how girly I looked that day):

"We were ALREADY on the train........YOU FAT. FUCKING. PRICK!"

The look on his face as he turned around was absolutely priceless, as was the laughter of his friends and most of the football crowd. The other commuters also started sniggering.

His face turned purple as the train doors started to close, and I gave him my girliest of waves followed by the middle finger as the train started to pull away.
(posage As I turned the corner I felt muscular and compact, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 11:15, 9 replies)

~click~
Mwhahaha! That must have felt good.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 12:08, closed)

Nice one. *click*

( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 12:43, closed)

soooo...some guy made a minor mistake and you scream FAT PRICK at him
are you insane?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:10, closed)

I have anger problems
And the guy was a cunty cunt
(posage As I turned the corner I felt muscular and compact, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:15, closed)

you should have stabbed him

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 15:24, closed)

I get this completely
There's nothing more infuriating than a sexist twat accusing you of doing something wrong when you haven't. Clicky.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 16:06, closed)

And Chelski too...

( snee held his breath since, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:12, closed)

Damn right
Boorish oafs to a man. Think that because they wear the shirt, the brotherhood will be behind them. They aren't usually, especially when a young lady pipes up. Clicked, and ROF- don't criticise until you've been there.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 19:52, closed)

^ Agree
Selfish twats who take no notice of anyone around them. Shouting and screaming, insulting, stinking the train out.

Well done, maybe he'll pay more attention next time.
(Stiltzkin, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 13:41, closed)