Disco Jeff
...is the 'Top of the bill headliner' mentalist in Bridgwater, Somerset - home town to myself, and quite possibly the highest nutter-to-normal ratio in the country.

Though he has been known to venture into more traditional public nudity and violent assualts, as a rule, Jeff's forte is jogging around town, pretending to be a heavy goods vehicle.

He will happily weave in and out of fast-moving traffic, making diesel engine noises and tooting the horn on his 'rig' all day, come rain or shine. Usually sporting a hand painted t-shirt bearing the witty slogan 'I AM GAY.'

His attention to detail and passion for his art are to be marvelled at. He was once arrested after making it as far as Weston-Super-Mare on the motorway (Inside lane, not hard shoulder), after a flooded road diverted him from his normal route.

My boss can never get to sleep at night on Sundays, because Jeff 'parks' outside his flat with the generator running on his freezer unit (i.e. making a low, growly noise with his throat) ready for the supermarket run on Monday morning.

He also once had a right pop at my Dad for parking in his space outside Curry's. Pa didn't want to end up as a flesh wedding dress, so grudgingly moved his motor and watched as Jeff reversed - beeping all the way - into the space.

Tales of the bald lady who rearanges the chairs in my local whilst nursing a pint bottle of rank, sour milk - and the Ginger mute feller on a bike who spends his entire waking life helping the trolley attendants at Sainsbury's are for another time. Honestly - this town is a veritable Nuttasic Park.
(Squirrel with a gun, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 16:09, Reply)