The Ringtone of DOOOOOOOM
In my second year of university, I picked up a Motorola RAZR, which was a stupid phone with a stupid name which, stupidly, crashed a lot. I did like it for it's thin, clamshell design (which is important, as you'll see) as well as its pretty loud speaker; I am occasionally blissfully unaware of my phone ringing, unless it has a very loud ringtone. The ringtone was quickly changed to something hard and heavy (some may rememeber the RAZR required some *dodgy* software to change the ringtone).

My friends at uni weren't really into my taste in music (and therefore my ringtones) such that Megadeth and Opeth aren't du jour amongst the 'popular' types. It was during the exam period, and at the front of the exam hall we had to leave our bags/phones/dildos/whatever. I arrived with the guys, and left my phone in the front compartment of my bag. Most of my friends had left the exam early, generally due to lack of revision (HA!) or just rushing through the paper.

After this exam was done and dusted, there was a second exam an hour later. As before, all my friends left after a short while, whereas I had actually done some work and was scribbling away. As occasionally happens, a phone ringtone went off. Wait, this wasn't just any ringtone, it was a ham-handedly mixed medley of beelzebub's birthing.

..."Young man, there's a place you can go..."

".. I said *CLICK*.. IT'S RAINING MEN!.."

".. MACHO MACHO MAAAAAAAN!"

finally topped off with a sample of crazy frog *sigh*.

The confusion and hilarity was palpable, everone (including myself) was wondering which loser had such an auditory nightmare as their ringtone. I finished up my paper, handed it in and picked up my bag, and proceeded to walk out, at which point the ringtone started again. I turned around to see if I could figure out which bag this big jug of ear-rape was being poured from, but as I turned, the sound appeared to remain behind me.

Shit. Fuck. What?

What I hadn't counted on was that in leaving early, one of my friends had taken my fucking phone out of my fucking bag when they left, and promptly changed my ringtone before the next exam. The phone was surreptitiously replaced into my bag, and remained untouched until the exam in the afternoon when the trap could be sprung. Now.

I reached into my bag and pulled out the phone, which had now been wound round and stuck shut with duct-tape, and was blaring out the ham-touching mix. The 30 people still sat at their desks stared with contempt at our hero, a long-haired ruffian holding what appeared to be a sticky lump of plastic, a DIY-engineered seer stone that bleated the future in lo-fi camp disco, as he rushed to tear out its soul.

I scrabbled outside to find my 'buddies' collectively micturating in their pantaloons, laughing at my predicament.

Bastards.

In other news, I am currenly eating pineapple jelly, yum.
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 13:18, 3 replies)

That's good, that.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 0:43, closed)

I still have my RAZR.
... and am in fact using it to make this reply!
(The Legendary Kenneth Likes Onions, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 2:26, closed)

I'm giving you a click
just for the line starting "I reached into my bag..."
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 5:51, closed)