I tell this with a very heavy heart
Last Sunday my African Grey parrot flew off into the Keighley night sky, loved him to bits.
I taught him to say "This is the news" and "fancy lady" and (my favorite) "Peter you've lost the news" so that Sunday morn me and the boyfriend had been searching for him.
I put the feelers out and later on in the day I get a text that he has been spotted on the other side of town on a rough council estate, don't get me wrong I was brought up on a council estate but this one as I found out today had seen better days.
Every other house has a L.C.D screen on the chimney breast (so do I) every third house has a sofa in the front garden, every forth house is boarded up and every fifth has a sign up saying "CCTV in operation private property beware of the dogs"
So there's me and the other half walking/driving shouting "This is the news" and "peter you've lost the news" but just as I shouted "fancy lady" a classy lady was putting her bins out and had heard this and she replied "you what" and I had to explain the whole sorry situation to her and she was OK about it.
But still driving round at slow speed shouting "fancy lady" in a rough area must have looked like we were looking for something else, but it did bring some laughter to a dark day.
So if you find a parrot that sounds like Chris Morris keep him warm and safe.miss you Zeus
( CysticSpazzGland has just puwked on your mum, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 21:13, 9 replies)

no idea if this was a heart-warming tale or a long drawn-out pun
either way I'd suggest adding line breaks if you want it read. wall o'text is offputting in the extreme, to me anyway.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 21:15, closed)

it's the real deal, thanks for the advice
( CysticSpazzGland has just puwked on your mum, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 21:24, closed)

Don't pay it any attention
That is obviously a certified ponce.
Any suggestions about adding line breaks can safely be ignored.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 1:25, closed)

You should have called him Brian Hanrahanrahan
That sounds much better being shouted in the street, Brian HanrahanraHAAAAAN!
( Ghoti Fingers, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 6:42, closed)

Forth house?
is it in Scotland?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 12:36, closed)

very good point, but to be fair at this point in time I don't care for grammar and spelling. I want my little Brian O'Hanrahan back. But will take more care in future when not emotionally compromised. It was just nice to get it off my chest.
( CysticSpazzGland has just puwked on your mum, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:44, closed)

Well fancy that
Does he do all the proper intonation?

Hope he comes back :(
( Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Wed 6 Feb 2013, 9:43, closed)

Yes he's good at the "this is the neeeeeewwwws"
thanks I miss him loads :'(
( CysticSpazzGland has just puwked on your mum, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 19:13, closed)

You're kidding right...
There is no nice side of Keighley? He'll be someone's dinner now.... Sorry for you loss and all that, but having a Parrot in West Yorkshire is just showing off. It's like having an Elephant in Calgary.

Sorry for you loss.
(The Heather Mills 1st XI, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 0:38, closed)