And that's why Jamie Theakston's a cunt....
A few years back, as most people will no doubt remember, Jamie Theakston used to do The Priory with Zoe Ball. He used to do a spoof of Jim'll Fix It called Jamie Will Make The Necessary Arrangements, and he used this opportunity to twat about in a large chair, and allow the nation to hate him. Then he'd give an email address where people could email in with stuff they wanted Jamie to make possible.

One particular episode, he'd brought a toy along - a button which played Tim Westwood quotes (Westwood being that week's guest). Cue much twatting about, "drop the bomb" repetition and laughing at his own 'wit'. I thought I'd email the fucker even tho I was just 15 and ask if he could make the necessary arrangements for me to boot him up the arse.

And guess what? Even tho it was a joke, the producers at Ginger loved it, and emailed me back, telling me they wanted to film me booting him up the arse. I went round the whole of school telling everyone I was going down to London that night to be on The Priory - I was the man. Then I got a phone call from the guy at Ginger - and I quote - Jamie didn't want to look like a twat on TV. I pointed out he already did, and the fellah agreed with me but said sorry, I'm not going to be on TV after all.

I emailed in every week after that, repeatedly telling Jamie I wanted to boot him up the arse, but they never replied. And if it ever comes back on the air, I'll keep emailing in. That'll show the cunt. Even his production team hated him.

Sorry for length!
(Hammer Time, Wed 17 Nov 2004, 15:30, Reply)