Footballers are tossers!
Apart from a football pitch, the place you are most likely to find a footballer is of course in a nightclub! (okay, maybe a strip club. But they're kinda the same thing.)

In my time i have had a fair few run-ins with these "professional" athletes. With the exception of a select few (Nobby Solano, you are a true gent!) they fully live up to their reputations of being a bunch of over-paid, over-rated twats.

I'm quite proud to say that I personally banned Steven Gerrard from every single club (300ish venues) in our company because he got his personal bodyguard (too much of a pussy to do it himself!) to drag a member of staff over the bar and punch him repeatedly. The barmans crime? Refusing to serve him a drink which we did not have in stock!

But the gold medal for twattery must go to Robbie Fowler...

On one of my rare nights off, a few mates and I decided to frequent a few of the delightful drinking establishments in Southport. We were in one bar which was absolutely packed and as such we were waiting (im)patiently at the bar to be served.
In off the street walks Robbie Fowler, who marches straight up to the bar and proclaims at the top of his voice "Oy! I'm next!"
The guy stood right next to him was quite rightly peeved and replied "No your fucking not mate! I was here before you, i'm next!"
At this point Robbie Fowler reaches into his pocket, pulls out his wallet, opens it and retrieves a crisp new £50 note, then proceeds to set it on fire with his lighter, waves it in front of the mans face and says "When you can do that, then you're next!"
Adding insult to injury he then proclaims at the top of his voice "Everyone in this bar can have a drink on me... Except for this guy!"

What a tool!

...I still took his free drink though!

Cheers,
K
(Korrupt is shagging your food and eating your women., Sat 11 Apr 2009, 20:22, 2 replies)

That might be funny...
... except I've heard the same story for about ten different footballers over the years.
(Hagis, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 23:32, closed)

^
Yup.
(TheColonel, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 17:21, closed)