Cocktails ... Mmmmmm
About 10 years ago I was working in the bar of a very posh 200 bedroom 5-Star hotel, where they did table service.

One evening, the hotel owner, his wife, their 2 kids and the MD all came in and sat down. They were all going to go out, so were dressed up in suits and dresses. Very smart. I went over and took their order, which was something like 2 banana dacquiris, 1 beer, 1 coke & 1 bloody mary. I went to the bar, got the order, and balanced all the drinks around the metal tray.

Now - anyone who's done this before will tell you that when removing the drinks from the tray while balancing it on your other hand - ALWAYS get the weight distribution EVEN (ie - first one side, then the other etc..).

Aaaanyway, I was new at this kind of thing. I removed the beer .. then the coke (which were next door to each other), and the tray did a kind of a flip out of my hand. All the remaining drinks fell, and hit the (rather low) table.

If we're talking nuclear fallout zones, you could say that everyone round the table was in 'Zone 1'. You've never seen anything like it. Everyone was coated in yellow dacquiri slime, and there was glass everywhere. The owner's wife burst into tears (understandable, as her dress was completely fucked), and the 2 kids started laughing. The others just looked blank. The whole bar had gone quiet. I looked around for help, just in time to see the bar manager duck and hide behind the bar.

I was alone. So very alone, and somewhat out of my depth.

Oh - and also, there's the time when I was a novice waiter, and I dropped a large flat of buttered new potatoes into the bride's lap. That didn't go down too well either.
(8-Ball, Mon 18 Oct 2004, 12:49, Reply)