Follow up to 8-balls tale
A mate of mine used to work as a "bouncer" at one of the Soho clip joints. He never got physical, but was encouraged to imply violence in order to scare punters into coughing up 200 quid for three shandies and a chat with a russian chick.

His best story is one guy who (as many do) claimed to have no money on him, so after he turned out his pockets they walked him (as they often did) to the cash machine, at which point he claimed to have forgotten his PIN.

"Maybe it's in your address book?" Says my mate, and scared blokes eyes go wide for a minute before he comes up with an ingeneous plan.

He tears the pages out of his address book and eats them.

Mate + co-bouncer stare on in disbelief as he munches down on the contents of his little black book before swallowing, looking up at them and declaring that they might as well get on with beating him up. But the bouncer-types are too busy rolling around on the floor, pausing only to tell him "fair play mate!" and sending him on his way.
( wangmaster2000, Thu 19 Jan 2006, 16:33, Reply)