A friend gave me a lift home a few months back...
and we dropped another friend off at town. If any of you have wondered down Sweet Street in Leeds at 11pm on any evening, you will know what it is like.

I needed to get some money out of an ATM because I owed him a tenner. We went to a cash machine near Sweet Street:

These 2 prostitutes came towards me asked if I was requiring any assistance. I wasn't. I took out my money and turned back to get in the car. My friend had driven down the road just in view to be laughing his arse off at me. I was scared! I didn't want to be left alone with these two middle aged women. I just said "no thanks", and walked off.

Then, the most terrifying thinkg I have seen for ages happened. I looked around and there must have been about ten thousand twelve prostitutes, all walking up and down. Their dark, smacked up eyes and wrinkled skin would have been more fitting in a coffin than out on the streets.

It was like something out of Dawn of the Dead. They all, slowly started making their way towards my friends car. He shouted at me "Get in the car!". One of the hookers thought he was talking to her, and opened the door. "Not you, yer filthy whore!"

My whole life flashed before my eyes: Walking my first step, saying my first word, failing my first exam, losing my virginity, right up to getting propositioned by a Liz McDonald lookalike.

Then everything went in slow motion. My friend drove off, and I was almost in tears! What if one of them pulled a needle on me? What if they tried to rub their chlamydia infested vaginas into my youthful, spritely eyes?

Eventually I managed to escape them, weaving in and out of their ferociously skinny bodies. I dived head first into my friends car through the window, as he drove off with my legs still dangling out. (Okay, so that last bit didn't happen.)

But I lived to tell another tale. I survived the manic 10 minutes that could have ended up with me contracting the clap. Alas, no! We escaped into the sunset and retired to our life of youthful innocence.

Plus, I only had a tenner, and they wanted fourty!
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Sun 22 Jan 2006, 0:35, Reply)