Too Cold To Have P.E. Outside?
No problem at our school, we just had it indoors instead. Which was fine...until it came to rugby. Yes...rugby...played in a gymnasium. With those fucking useless wafer thin mats they used for gymnastics at either end to reduce by 0.0001% the chance of you hurting yourself when scoring a try.

As for the teacher (I won't mention his name), he spent more time shagging the sixth form girls than he did actually over seeing the P.E. lessons. No surprise then when he didn't return to work after half term, when apparently one of the girls Dads' found out about the P.E. he'd been having with his (just about legal) daughter.

And then there was Sports Day. Not just one sports day for us mind you, but a Summer Sports Day and a Winter Sports Day. The Summer one would inevitably be held on the hottest day of the year, at our local athletics stadium. I can still hear our House Master saying, "Flunk, you're doing the 1,500 meters this year...don't come last or you'll be in detention for a week." Luckily, one of the other houses had chosen 'Malcolm' to represent them. 'Malcolm' was the least athletic person in the world. Detention would seemingly be avoided simply by strolling 'round in front of him for 15 minutes. Unfortunately 'Malcolm's Dad was a Parents' Representative on the School Board. The whingeing tosser got his Dad to have a word and miraculously was 'excused' from taking part a week before hand. You can guess the rest, surely?

Then there was Winter Sports Day, which involved a cross country run. Not so bad until you realise that it part of the course went through a river...a freezing cold river. It was so cold one year that it did actually freeze over to about 2 inches thick. Now it has to be pretty fucking cold for that to happen to running water. But still the bastards made us run through it.

Kids today don't know what they are missing.
(Ceasar Flunk can see your house from here, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 17:25, Reply)