Dear God the PE teachers at my old secondary
When deciding to become a PE teacher, one should always consider the resentment felt towards you by the pupils you will end up teaching, and therefore it may be advisable to choose a different career if you have an unfortunate surname.

Apparently, Mr. Humpage didn't think that far ahead.

Honest to god, that was his name, and it didn't help that he had a particular fondness for bright pink jumpsuits rather than the traditional shorts and t-shirt. Oh, and he was bald. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just it doesnt help the overall image.

Two particular moments stand out involving this mad-man. The first was an unusually cold day in April or May, I forget which. It was also raining. Rather than enjoy the delights of the marginally warmer and marginally dryer gym, he decided we should all go outisde and play softball. So we did.

Or rather we would have done if he hadn't decided that now would be a good time to regale us with tales of his childhood. Apparently he was particuarly fond of his father, mostly it would seem due to regularly administered beatings. Make sense of that. We certainly couldn't, and bear in mind we're standing around in summer kit (thin polo shirt), in the driving rain, in a cold field in Lancashire. This went on for about half an hour, so it was no surprise when a good portion of the group went home in the afternoon feeling quite ill, whilstt the rest of us sniffled our way through the rest of the day.

Secondtime concerned litter on the field. Apparently there was a lot of it, which was to be expected since thats where everyone went at breaks and dinner, and there were only two bins, at opposite ends of the field. The worst of this was the drinks cans which practically flew out of the single vending machine in the summer. these would get chewed up by the big tractor/lawnmower thing and create lots of bits of sharp metal. In fairness this was a concern, but his method of dealing with it was... unique. Rather than getting those who didnt have their kit to pick up all the cans, he did it himself. He then came into asssembly, whith two or three bin bags full, emptied them all over the stage, ranted for ten minutes, then afterwards, got his form (for he was also a form tutor)to pick them all up, thus enforcing a lost break and some undeserved labour on a group of kids, whilst endangering their hands with lots of sharp metal. We saw it as counterproductive somehow.

Very odd guy.

Must dash, more later.
(friedel, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 11:41, Reply)