The balcony fool!
In the early 90s I was at St Georges Hall in Bradford watching Morrissey and had a decent view up in the stalls, stage left. I'd seen him previously on the tour in Blackpool and it was supposedly being filmed, as a result the security staff were helpfully aiding the audience in their quest to get on the stage and fling themselves adoringly at their foppish idol.
At Bradford however this wasn't the case and everyone down in the pit were being pushed back which annoyed me for some inexplicable reason.
I decided I wasn't going to put up with this audience free performance so planned my assault on the stage for the last song of the night. 'Shoplifters of the world' had just kicked in and that was my cue to jump from the balcony onto the large speaker stack and make my way down to the stage - so far so good. The crowd roared and I felt like a ninja superfan. That's until I leapt onto the lowest speaker which, unlike it's hard wooden peers, had a canvas covering which I promptly drilled through and shaved my shins down to the bone as they ran down the inside of the case. Luckily adrenaline prevented me from crying on stage in front of 3000 laughing faces and I managed to stumble to Mozzer and plant a sloppy kiss in his ear before being dragged off stage.
It could have been so much worse and was my first and last foray onto any stage.
(lopezthecatkiller has not killed a cat since....., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:10, 4 replies)

Gay.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:18, closed)

Don't be like that
Gizzakiss x
(lopezthecatkiller has not killed a cat since....., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:38, closed)

Oooh, you're such a tease...

(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:21, closed)

Ha sorry! Fat fingers.
Sadly the story probably wasn't worth the wait but at least I kept you in suspenders for a few moments.
(lopezthecatkiller has not killed a cat since....., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:26, closed)