Best of all the animals
I used to have an ex-racehorse called Marty. He was gentle as a lamb, a bit timid even, but was very tall and imposing. Even at just a light canter he would snort loudly with flaring nostrils at each exhale, like the retired athlete he was.

I was riding him one day in a little field that was public, but usually quiet, only used as a thoroughfare by others. A couple of fuckwitted boys decided they wanted to ride their bikes there. I tried moving away so we could each have our space, but the idiot boys thought it was a lot more fun to ride in really close to us, trying to frighten Marty so he'd throw me off.

I'm sure Marty and I had the same evil idea at the same time. I didn't have to tell him what to do. He knew. Which was funny, given his usual docile nature.

We trotted off, right up to the other end of the field. The boys thought they'd won and scared me off, but we were only allowing ourselves enough distance to get a good run up.

As soon as I let him know I was ready, Marty charged at the boys at full gallop, giant hooves thundering, nostrils flaring and snorting loudly. The boys didn't realise what was happening until they realised a ton of pissed off, speeding horse was right on top of them.

Marty swerved at the last second to miss them, they shat themselves and disappeared on their little bikies, never to be seen again.

I swear Marty was smug.
( HairyCanary as Ann B. Davis as Alice, Fri 8 Jun 2007, 17:03, Reply)