Things my dog has done...
We have a 10 month old Cocker Spaniel called max. He is incredibly sweet of nature, but has some serious wiring issues in the brain department..

OK, so here goes:

1) He got his nuts chopped off in order to stop him shagging everything in sight. I dropped him off at the vet, and Mrs Cantsleep picked him up the next day, looking very sorry for himself. First thing he does when I come home from work? Jump up and bite me in the crutch. Never done before, or since.

2)He has an OCD complaint when it comes to telephones.. Whenever a mobile phone rings (no matter what the ringtone) he goes mental and tries to dig his way through the hall carpet, to the place that all phones live, under the floor.This applies to the landline, as well as anything else that goes beep, like the oven timer. They all live under there.

3)He is a cleptomaniac. Shoes, telephones, remote controls (his fave)... all will be stealthily stolen and removed to the garden. If he wants to play, he will repeatedly return to where you are, and let you know he has said item getting wet in his mouth. Then he does a runner. If youre unlucky, he will just fuck off and bury it. I have retreived phones on several ocassions by calling them and walking round the garden until I can hear them ringing under the ground. This has the potential to get expensive.

4) His passion to destroy all ringing things extends to chewing through all the cables for the telpephones throughout the house. But *only* the telephone cable. How the hell he manages to distinguish it amongst the rats nest of cables under the desk and behind the TV is anyones guess, but he does. Its not even coinicdence. Hes done this 6 times now.

5) He sits on your head a lot. This was cute when he was a little puppy. He now weighs about 15 Kilos, and now it just makes it difficult to breathe.

6) He thinks he is a cat of an evening. He will grab his latest fluffy toy, the lie on his back with said toy between his front paws, and make like a kitten with a ball of string.

7) he has frog legs. He regularly lays with both rear legs spread completely flat on the floor, and looks like a squashed frog.

But I love him dearly...and so do the mobile phone campany, as I keep having to buy new handsets.

As for length, its passed a couple of minutes when you should be working, so be grateful.
(CantSleepClownsWillGetMe Likes: Turtles, Mon 11 Jun 2007, 12:52, Reply)