sausages
I know this isn't exactly on topic but I've been suppressing my feelings for long enough on this matter and this QOTW is close enough for me to let rip.
Now must of us love a good honest pork sausage. As part of a fried breakfast or nuzzled between two pieces of bread with a bit of sauce or served with mash and gravy, it's a good food. Now at what point did some sh!t think it would be a good idea to start putting crappy herbs in them. I hate it, really really hate it. It constantly drives me mad. One minute your sat in a boozer, sipping a pint at lunch time when your sausage and mash arrives over. Of course, it's covered in gravy so you can't see the little green cancerous lumps below the skin. Oh no, not until you bite into it do you realise you've been had. This really gets up my nose. I mean, if you want a herby sausage you can simply get a cumberland. They're shaped different so there shouldn't be any error (actually, the fact that they are shaped like a curled dog turd is rather appropriate). I've nothing against the cumberland because it doesn't pretend to be a normal sausage. no no, it's the so called 'normal' sausages that have herbs hidden in them that really p!ss me off.

Last summer, having spent the day at London Zoo with my daughter and girlfriend, we were walking back through Regents park when I happened upon an establishment called 'The Honest Sausage'. I excitedly told gf that this is great, someone else obviously feels the same as me about herby sausages and has gone a stage further and opened a shop purveyor good honest sausages. I told gf to keep walking ahead while I popped in and got a takeaway sausage in a roll. I went in and all seemed fine. I purchased my food, left the establishment and ran to catch up with my family. Once we were all together I showed my gf the lovely sausage in a roll, hell I even waxed lyrical about the texture of gravy and onion on it. Then I bit into it and all hell broke lose. The bugger was full of herbs. I was outraged. I started a kind of insane grumble that grew to a shout, it went 'the honest sausage? the honest sausage? THE HONEST SAUSAGE??? I then proceeded to hold the herby horror in front of me shaking it (imagine John Cleese losing his temper in fawlty Towers). I finally lost it, dropped kicked the herby bunch a horror and then stamped on it (anyone reading this who happened to be in Regents Park and saw it take place...I apologise).
Anyway, now I only eat sausage that I buy myself in a clear wrapper and normally I cut one in half raw to check for herbs before cooking.

Ok, I'll leave it now. sorry but I had to get it off me chest
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:26, Reply)