Fuck off, Dog!
So, here we are, on a rug on a hillside, lovely sunny day, myself and the beautiful-but-bonkers gf at the time. Looking down the hill we have a cracking view of a well-known university town. We are cuddling, kissing, her hand goes down south...then her head.

‘Oh goody’ I think – an alfresco blow-job.

There are people on the hill, but mostly coffin-dodgers and kite-flying children. Both sets are a long way away and I am confident, given the expert tounge-lashing that the old chap is currently rec eiving, that matters will be brought to a sticky conclusion before either of them poses a problem.

Then I notice the dog.

About twenty yards away, stupid stick in mouth. Staring at us. With his cocking head on one side.

‘Fuck off, Dog’ I mouth, pathetically gesturing at him to do so.

Inevitably he comes closer. And closer. My partner is unaware of the danger, presumably interpreting my spasmodic thrashings and muffled obscenities for some pre-climactic frenzy. This is awful. Thirty seconds ago, my whole brain was focused on how much I am going to enjoy my imminent spaffing into this lovely young lady’s mouth. Now an increasingly large percentage is taken up with how I can make this furry voyeur go away, and an even larger percentage with how wrong it is to have an erection when looking into the eyes of an animal.

Eventually, feeling horribly horribly dirty I shoot my load. The dog, now practically sitting next to us, looks disappointed – perhaps disapproving. He fucks off, at last, the bastard. My partner, swallows, wipes her mouth, sits up and winks at me roguishly. I feel weak.
( MacCruiskeen, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 15:51, 9 replies)

Hahaha!

( epiphany coming live from sweden, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 15:53, closed)

Pffft,
We can only imagine.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 0:49, closed)

That's hilarious
"He fucks off, at last, the bastard. My partner, swallows, wipes her mouth, sits up and winks at me roguishly. I feel weak."

Tremendous ending.
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 6:35, closed)

"Fuck off, Dog"
absolutely cracked me up.


It's the simple things eh?

Cheers mate.
(TheColonel, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 10:44, closed)

yup got me


particularly at 'furry voyeur' . . .
(The Cats Twat, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 11:16, closed)

Very nice
indeed - especially liked the last 3 words - comedy gold, mate.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 17:17, closed)

Heheh
Wonderfully written. Good stuff!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 11:09, closed)

Thanks all
Though it is nothing compared to Spanky's Churchillian epic. Is this where dogging gets its name?

I still remember that day though - clearly and bitterly. One of the finest nob-gobblers I have ever come across and the whole experience defiled by this canine cock-watcher.
( MacCruiskeen, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 18:31, closed)

This is full of win
"how wrong it is to have an erection when looking into the eyes of an animal".

Lovely stuff
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Sun 26 Apr 2009, 10:54, closed)