Not sure if it's funny but it worked
A teacher I knew had this response to an obnoxiously disruptive 15-year-old girl in his class who stated in front of the whole group that it was obvious the teacher fancied her:

"XXX, you have made a very serious accusation. Not only have you accused me of being a paedophile, but also you are suggesting that I have communicated my alleged illegal and immoral desires to you. If what you say were proved to be true, I would lose not only my job but my career. I would get a criminal record and maybe even do time. I would certainly have to move a long way away so as not to get beaten up or have my house vandalised. So if I were prepared to risk all that to get a girl half my age, don't you think I'd at least go for one of the pretty ones?"

She had no comeback, the class laughed at her and she hardly caused any trouble after that.
(eesnahk, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 11:11, 5 replies)

But he still fucked her, yeah?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 11:21, closed)

Fatties are always grateful
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 11:27, closed)

Pah
The quality of teachers these days!

Ephebophile is the word he should have been using.
(dchurch bah, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 16:31, closed)

Technically yes, but anyone caught fancying someone a day shy of 16 is a paedo in the eyes of the mail reading public.
(tyrellsOwl, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 11:34, closed)

good one

( cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 17:20, closed)