Devastating Put-Downs
Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)
( , Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)
( , Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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One day lad, all this will be yours,
~~~~Wavy Lines~~~~
Back in the day, when I was just a young undergraduate, I happened to make the acquaintence of a nice young girl called Diana. Now, Diana was a more than a little posh. This post could be a reply of petty jibes at the rich, or her remarks at the poor.
But instead I shall tell a much more magnificent story indeed. We’d been dating for a couple of months and it was finally time to meet the dreaded parental units. I’d been warned by Diana to be on my best behaviour, as her parents apparently had a somewhat medieval attitude to her ‘suitors’.
I was expecting a nice family home, but was instead presented with a gargantuan, sprawling estate in the countryside outside Brighton.
As I stepped out the car I was almost instantly greeted by a man leaping out a bush and come barrelling towards us. This man it emerged, was Di’s father. Strangely he at least a passing resemblance to Michael Palin, but with the facial hair of Brian Blessed.
With barely a word of introduction between us I was soon carted off to be shown the estate. As we gazed out on to the landscape, her father put his hand on my shoulder and said:
“Son, if you play your cards right, then one day all this will be yours”
Then it struck me:
Yes, this is Dee's vast estate in Pilt Down
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:10, 4 replies)
~~~~Wavy Lines~~~~
Back in the day, when I was just a young undergraduate, I happened to make the acquaintence of a nice young girl called Diana. Now, Diana was a more than a little posh. This post could be a reply of petty jibes at the rich, or her remarks at the poor.
But instead I shall tell a much more magnificent story indeed. We’d been dating for a couple of months and it was finally time to meet the dreaded parental units. I’d been warned by Diana to be on my best behaviour, as her parents apparently had a somewhat medieval attitude to her ‘suitors’.
I was expecting a nice family home, but was instead presented with a gargantuan, sprawling estate in the countryside outside Brighton.
As I stepped out the car I was almost instantly greeted by a man leaping out a bush and come barrelling towards us. This man it emerged, was Di’s father. Strangely he at least a passing resemblance to Michael Palin, but with the facial hair of Brian Blessed.
With barely a word of introduction between us I was soon carted off to be shown the estate. As we gazed out on to the landscape, her father put his hand on my shoulder and said:
“Son, if you play your cards right, then one day all this will be yours”
Then it struck me:
Yes, this is Dee's vast estate in Pilt Down
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:10, 4 replies)
An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani all walk into a shop
and they all think this is shit.
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:24, closed)
and they all think this is shit.
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:24, closed)
Yes,
but then the incredibly bad pun wouldn't work, making the terrible story even worse
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:50, closed)
but then the incredibly bad pun wouldn't work, making the terrible story even worse
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:50, closed)
*pats on head kindly*
n't
even worse marginally less fucking awful
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:52, closed)
( , Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:52, closed)
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