I handed in my notice this Tuesday just gone,
my reason being one of my colleagues.

I've been working here 8 months and about 19 days now (I keep track based on my b3ta-birthday), when I started I realised almost instantly how much of a bunch of right wing, racist, homophobic, sexist, bigotted cunts they all are. After hearing one racist, sexist and homophobic "joke" too many I defended those who weren't there to do so themselves.

All of a sudden I was gay. Interesting how that works, 'ey? Anyway, for the following months I put up with the gay jokes, the piss taking and other shit. Then about 3 months ago I was having a chat with one of my colleagues on a Thursday afternoon, Peter, and he asks me if I was gay. I told him my views on sexuality* and he stated that he disagreed, he believes that, and I quote "gayness is a mental illness, and all puffs should be locked up with the other loonies". Obviously I thought this was bullshit but I'm just the office minion so I made no big deal of it.

Friday comes, he's fine with me. Monday comes and I'm off work on leave, Tuesday comes and he's off with me. I assumed it was just him being in a bad mood and taking it out on me. Come Thursday he's still being rude and blunt with me so I asked him if I'd managed to offend him, he tells me that "I've been thinking about what you said last week and I don't like it, I disagree with it and it makes me feel sick. I think it'd be best if we don't talk anymore unless it's strictly work related and even then, only if necessary.".

Since then he's been rude to me when he does speak to me. He's, quite a few times, altered paperwork after realising he's written something down wrong (tipp-ex is a bit obvious) and then shouted at me for fucking up. He's fucked up on documents sent to clients, which I've typed up and he's signed off (which here means that he takes responsibility for it) and then told the manager/boss type person that it's my fault. I've been threatened with being given a written and final warning, despite not having a contract, numerous times. I've been threatened with being sacked, all due to him.

I've finally, after 3 months of being a spineless fuckwhit, quit. And I'm feeling better for it already.

*That I don't believe in them, I feel any human has the capacity within them to love another human regardless of their sex or any other attribute, and that sexualities are people's way of rating their homo or hetero phobia. That does not mean to say I don't have a preference, just that I'm not going to let someone's sex get in the way of potential love. But that's another story all together.
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:01, 41 replies)

*clicks*
I knew it was coming, but still a good story.
( Cawl, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:03, closed)

Good luck!
It's just not worth the hassle in the long run dealing with people like that.
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:08, closed)

You should make them sweat a little.
Over here you can bring suit against a company for making a hostile work environment. I'd bet you can do the same over there. So I would mention it to them at some point.

And if you REALLY want them to shit, maybe rachelswipe might write an official-sounding letter to them for you if you ask her nicely...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 22 May 2008, 16:13, closed)

Good for you
Well done, you'll thank yourself for it. Trying to martyr yourself to appease the powers that are, who've already decided that they don't like you is no way to spend eight hours a day.

I know, I've done it.

If Karma really is a lady, that fool's firstborn son will exit the closet very shortly...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 22 May 2008, 16:14, closed)

@ TRL
As I have no contract and I've been working here under a year I have very little to no rights at all. It'd be extremely hard to get any sort of law suit going and isn't really worth my time and possibly money. I've also already handed in my notice so there's not much I can do about making them nervous. :(

@ PJM

It's funny you should mention that, his son sometimes does work for us, and he's EXTREMELY camp. Very "fashionable" and he waves his hips when he walks alot.
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:17, closed)

Hmmmmm...
You could try making a pass at him?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:17, closed)

You should
give his son a good bumming.

That'd teach him.

sorry, I haven't lowered the tone for a while and I miss it
(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:18, closed)

Yeah.
You should Barrymore his son.
That'd teach him.
( Cawl, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:19, closed)

I'd be scared that the pressure would
pop all the spots on his face.
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:20, closed)

Tie a plastic bag
Over his head.
( Cawl, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:22, closed)

There ya go!
Tell him that you don't want there to be hard feelings, and start leaving him little presents- chocolate bars and the like. Make it well known among the rest of the co-workers that you two have had a "special" relationship outside of work.

Could be a LOT of fun!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 22 May 2008, 16:22, closed)

Why not...
For a laugh mention that you are going to go to George Takei's wedding and that you have your phazer set on 'bumsex'.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:22, closed)

^ Amazing!
*clicks for reply*
( Cawl, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:23, closed)

Tomorrow's my last day
and I finish tonight in 15 minutes.

Why couldn't this question and your ideas come a week sooner? :(
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:23, closed)

Words of advice:
if you have a situation like this that requires a twisted mind to come up with some revenge that will be relatively safe for you but wreak utter chaos and shame on your victim, POST A REQUEST IN HERE. We have some of the most imaginative people on the planet on this site, and they'll flood you with suggestions.

Meanwhile, do what you can in such a short time. Good luck!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 22 May 2008, 16:27, closed)

Personally...
....I'd lock all the doors, with that lot on the good side, and burn the office down.

Essentially, that office is mass oxygen stealing facility.

Well done you, though.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:28, closed)

@Kaol
I was going to say isn't the phrase "to Hollyoak" his son, but "to Barrymore" implies it was a bit more consensual.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:28, closed)

There's not hostile situation
That can't be solved by releasing thousands of bees from the air-conditioning vents.
( Cawl, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:30, closed)

When something like this happens in a workplace...
My friends and I work together and send faxes to the workplace with obscene letters addressed to the Knob In Question.

This ensures a captive office audience.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:33, closed)

OOOH! OOOOH!
Go to the Revenge stories! There are some great ones in there! Leave sardines in odd places, get a can of maggots from the fishing bait shop and leave them somewhere inconspicuous, that sort of thing! And then come back and tell us what you did!

IT MUST BE DONE!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 22 May 2008, 16:33, closed)

Unfortunately,
they're such stingy bastards that half the building is falling down, therefore not very oxygen/gas tight.

They're also so stingy that they don't have vents... It's just a little converted barn on some builder's yard. :D

I'll just make a bomb and place it in middle office.
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:35, closed)

@Belgaer
You don't work near the Giraffe Restaurant in Exeter by any chance do you?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:39, closed)

If you're going to bomb
Best to throw in a kilo of decent iron nails.
( Cawl, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:40, closed)

No,
I work(one dat 'till I can add an "ed" to that :D) in Broxbourne, Hertfordshire.
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:41, closed)

Tell where you work
and get the people of b3ta to converge there dressed in drag! Flashmob Freakout Friday!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 22 May 2008, 16:41, closed)

Why decent?
Sure rusty would be more painful.
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:41, closed)

Rusty have more friction
Clean go in much, much further.
( Cawl, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:43, closed)

The company is called Olympic Removals
and I'm not on the "meet the staff list" on the website, so don't sit there for too long thinking "Which one is he?"
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:43, closed)

I'm proud of you :D
You can tell me all about it tonight. ;)
(That's got all the b3tans net curtains twitching)
( wanderlust, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:44, closed)

But clean is much less likely to infect...
Unless I leave them in a bucket of germs or bleach overnight... That might help. Only, the bleach might make it easier for the bomb to go off.
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:44, closed)

Here.
www.b3ta.com/questions/revenge/

The cress seeds and the bucket of water sound like a good one, but I still like the idea of fishing maggots hidden so they get a building full of bluebottle flies...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 22 May 2008, 16:44, closed)

@ Wanderlust
Speaking of which, I'm off, cya all later and thanks for the uhm... Advice? Tips? Support? Nah, none of them are right... But whatever it was, thanks. :P
(Belgaer is, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:45, closed)

Bloody good for you
No job in the world is worth risking you sanity for - work to live, not the wrong way around. Good luck x
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 22 May 2008, 17:13, closed)

Go back
and bum him.

Really hard.
(Stevie Ruggling, Thu 22 May 2008, 17:53, closed)

This thread needs moar bumsex.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 22 May 2008, 20:10, closed)

okee dokee
*bumsexes the thread*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 22 May 2008, 20:27, closed)

I hope that being the author of the thread
doesn't make me the thread itself.

I've heard big things about Al...

Oi oi
(Belgaer is, Fri 23 May 2008, 0:51, closed)

Hm
Sorry - did we work in the same place? As if the constant racism and homophobia wasn't enough, the company director rubbed himself against me and tongue kissed me on the last day.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 23 May 2008, 10:43, closed)

Did you enjoy it?
On a more serious note, was the director an alcoholic? 'cause the one here seems to be and I wouldn't put that past him.
(Belgaer is, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:32, closed)

revenge
sign up the co-worker for loads of gay websites so that he will get loads of emails coming in.

repeat for any free products that you can claim from the net with them all to be delivered to the workplace

one idea stolen from the follow-up book to Trainspotting, Porno, is to buy a gay porn mag every couple of weeks or so and send it to him in a big brown envelope at work. won't be long before everyone else there things he has subscribed.

as its your last day today, you could always piss in his cup or if he chews pens and such like, take a few to the bog and wipe them around your ring.

well done on getting out and good luck in the next place

Cheers
(brocky, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:34, closed)