b3ta virgin...be nice please
Picture the scene; Reading music festival, 2004, I think, 2 or 3 days in, around one of the main campsite areas.

The toilet facilities at these events are the stuff of nightmares, truly something to avoid if you have the choice.

Now, after several days of bad burgers, excessive alcohol and energetic entertainments one could no longer avoid the plague pits. The time had come to venture forth and experience, the terror.
Now I dare say what I found barely needs explaining, i'm sure most of you can imagine. What I wasn't expecting was this.

Two big boot marks, either side of Turd Mountain, made where some dirty wretch had climbed up to the top of the cubicle and written, with his Mark 1 Index Finger, 'Maybe it's because i'm a Londoner'. He then signed his scatological graffiti with a full palm hand print.

Christ only knows how this chap went about getting the remnants from his hands, because there were no basins...
(MrBiscuits, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 22:32, Reply)