To all the girls I've loved before...
You, who pretended to be a Christian when I got too horny at age 16, thanks – I still remember the taste of you. And you who, while going out with me, was seeing the biker you eventually married – I hope you didn't get cheated on too. And you, you dear old nutter, who dumped and reclaimed me three times before I finally got wise, I hope you made something of your art and are not now working in a prison. Oh, you are? Shame. And as for you, you drunken wretch – I hope you regret nearly blinding me in an argument about whether listening to reggae is racist if you aren't black. For fuck's sake. Did you eventually get yourself a black man? I hope so, and I hope you kicked the drink. Or died. And as for you, love of my life, when you finally get over your problems (because you will) and realise you were incredibly cruel to the man who loved you more than any other for 10 years – I hope you don't regret it too much, and find someone else really nice. Me, I'm okay, and settled with a splendid woman who is probably not psychotic and hopefully appreciates the man I've learned to become through endless, wonderful love and war. Bless you all. (Sorry, I haven't invented a new term for breasts yet. Bear with me, I'm new). Cock.
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:04, 32 replies)

You don't need 241 words to say wah wah wah
Shh.
(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:52, closed)

241 words? Really?
Did you actually take time to count them or did you just copy and paste into Word to do a word count
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:27, closed)

there are a few widgets that tell you the selected text word count.
so It's even less effort than all that. 7*35 would have been about right too.
(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:42, closed)

Hi there, nice to meet you.
And thanks for replying. Sorry you didn't like it. I'm sure if I ever rack up as many hours on here as you have I'll be just as jaded. In the meantime, though, feel free to ignore me. I'm not your type. x
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:33, closed)

nothing but wah wah wah.
everything was your fault.
(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:37, closed)

Oh, I get it.
You want to be friends but you don't know how? Sweet.
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:40, closed)

You've already sent several decent people mental with your banal prattle.
It only took one post for you to dispirit me. You’re a danger.
(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:52, closed)

Really? I didn't mean to.
You, on the other hand, seem to have used up some of your valuable time specifically in an attempt to dispirit me. Why?
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:00, closed)

Good reply.
If you had that answer you would have avoided all that shite in the first place. //My time at work isn’t valuable.
(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:16, closed)

Okay then.
I'll try to guess what you won't like in future. Can't guarantee I'll be able to wade through all your posts in an attempt to understand, though. You've written quite a lot, haven't you? Are they all about poo?
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:27, closed)

You most defiantly (definitely) bring it on yourself.

(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:51, closed)

I wouldn't say he's being particularly defiant.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:53, closed)

Yeap - it's hard to troll and spell. ;)

(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:14, closed)

This is most certainly a new meaning to the word "troll"
Troll (n): Any person who pisses you off by holding a different view from yours, then defends it, upsetting you further.

Is that right?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:38, closed)

Ah, you meant _you_ were trolling
I should learn to read more loudly ;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:43, closed)

guilty

(waxdart hello., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:47, closed)

Pwnt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:32, closed)

"Please waste no more time"
That's what it stands for, right?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:02, closed)

I thought it was rather poetically phrased
and I liked it.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:59, closed)

Same
Bit whiney, but quite nicely written.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:17, closed)

Point taken.
Being whiney wasn't the idea – anything but – but I can see how it might appear that way.
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:31, closed)

is this the bit where we
verbally abuse the new guy for having the audacity to correctly answer a question of the week?

I liked and I clicked
( shitkicker, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 15:43, closed)

I can still taste you
Are you Hannibal Lecter?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:36, closed)

Very nicely written, and duly clicked Sir
Welcome to B3ta.

Ignore the jaded angry natives above, that was a good first contribution, most probably a better effort than their firsts.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:41, closed)

and lasts

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 16:52, closed)

Thanks, much appreciated.
I'm not in the least bothered by the antagonism. Kind of surprised that it was of fairly low quality, though.
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 22:32, closed)

Does the woman you are with
know you refer to another woman as the 'love of your life'?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 22:59, closed)

Yes.
She's had a 'love of her life' too. But life moves, and new things supplant old ones. We're both mature enough to know that we haven't been together long enough to be able to weigh this relationship against others that have lasted far, far longer. But the signs are good, and we're hoping. Is that a good enough explanation?
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 23:19, closed)

That will do for me.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 23:56, closed)

Me three
(evilneb nothing to see here, move along.., Wed 27 Oct 2010, 7:35, closed)

I like this person. That was a rare treat of a nicely flowing post.
I can't do them, so I don't, but respect to you nonetheless.
(shanterbabs, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 23:13, closed)

I liked this and I have clicked to prove it.
( awayfromthenumbers, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 11:36, closed)