Road RageLast week I had to stop a guy attacking another one in the middle of the road - one had run the lights whilst on the phone and the other had objected. I actually had to take the attacker's car keys out of their car and tell him he wasn't getting them back till he calmed down.
Looking back on it, I was lucky I was feeling all parental and in control or the situation could have panned out very differently.
Have you lost it on the roads, or have you been on the recieving end of some nutter?
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chthonic, Thu 12 Oct 2006, 21:31)
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ChavsCountry road in Oxfordshire and I'm pootling along with the missus, when the standard Chav'd up Nova (alloy wheels, ridiculous exhaust, colour scheme of white paint and grey filler, baseball-capped, goldie-chained neanderthals inside) comes screaming down the outside of me as we approach a blind corner.
Obviously, something suddenly appears coming the other way and I have a split-second to weigh up the two options of a) either braking heavily myself to give them room to swing in in front of me; or b) stay as I am, forcing them to choose between piling into the oncoming car or taking their chances with the hedge on the righthand side of the road (its amazing how quick the mind can work).
Out of consideration for the other car I go for option a). I'm hard on the anchors, the Nova swings in in front of me, there's blaring horns, flashing lights and a little tyre smoke from the other car. A nasty accident narrowly avoided.
The Nova driver and his mate shows their appreciation for my generous gesture by giving me wanker signs out of the window before subjecting me to a brake test as we head down the next straight. The resultant chase down the road was only brought to a halt by my missus' cries of fear.
With my masculinity in tatters, I give in to her pleads and allow the twats the pleasure of thinking they won, my mind full of thoughts of what might have been had I been on my own (of course, had I been on my won they wouldn't have caught up with me in the first place).
So you can imagine my glee 15 minutes later when we came round a corner to find - at the end of a long set of skidmarks leading to a hole in a fence - two dazed looking chavs in a field surveying their Nova, now on its roof and surrounded by cows.
Should any of the people who had stopped to help be reading this, you now will understand why the driver of a red Golf went past the scene joyfully beeping its horn and waving the wanker sign out the window....
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Squid Ink should be stored upright in a cool, dark place, Mon 16 Oct 2006, 13:10,
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