I have a conscience, honestly.
My story. Worth reading I think, due to the spectacular shit.

I used to work at a small car accessory shop, and I got put in charge (due to manager having nervous breakdown), with one day a week off.

It was the custom for me to leave a practical joke, upon leaving for the evening, for the person who replaced me for the day after (a mate) and vice versa.

So, that Monday evening, I stuck the phone handset to the receiver with superglue, rigged the door 'che-ching' bell to sound constantly upon opening the front door, placed various obstacles in the way of the counter, and rigged the lightswitch so it didn't work. GENIUS!

Only problem was, I sort-of-forgot to shut the upstairs door. The alarm went off at 3am. Nervous-Breakdown man was the one on the list for the security company to ring.

So he flew down on his bike at 3am, already in a cold sweat, the thought of masked intruders already sending his brain into overdrive.

Piled through the front door, sprained his ankle on the stuff in the middle of the floor, bell going off, phone was ringing due to alarm company calling, crawled to the desk and promptly smashed himself in the face with an entire phone, all the time with the terrible ringing in his ears.

He was found some 7 hours later sobbing in a corner of the shop. he never returned to work. Ever. For anyone.

It was a shit job anyway, but I still (ticket to Hull please) laugh at the mental picture of the guy crying and clouting himself in the head with the phone in blind panic.

Absolutely sod all apologies for length. (This is the same man who left a perfectly-formed turd around the rim of the down-toilet seat) So I don't feel that bad anyway.
(ArfurDaley Must try harder., Sat 25 Feb 2006, 2:56, Reply)