OK then, smartarse, answer me this:-
When you get home at 5am after a serious night of misbehaviour and mayhem, and you're so cunted that even your DNA is inebriated, you've flung yourself at the bed, and are just laying there, kinda hanging onto the edges as it whizzes around in ever-diminishing circles...do you spend the rest of eternity fumbling around with the fucking laces, or do you simply unzip your (non)combat boots?
And no, falling asleep with boots on is not an option - that is some low-rent shit.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 13 Nov 2011, 13:22, 4 replies)

You take the same approach as Jasper did (name changed to protect the idiot)...
Take the scissors to the laces, obviously.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 13 Nov 2011, 13:41, closed)

brilliant.

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 13 Nov 2011, 23:49, closed)

This totally makes them worth an extra £55,
she said sarcastically.

Here's another idea for saving money though - how about, right, not getting that drunk.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 16:30, closed)

no

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 13 Nov 2011, 23:51, closed)

Frankly if that much of a pussy lightweigh that you can't take your own shoes off you shouldn't drink, you fucking part timer.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 17:35, closed)

Ahh fuck it.
I'm on with AB on this 1.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 13 Nov 2011, 20:35, closed)

not everyone is a seasoned alcoholic, pal.
and if anyone got themselves into that (frankly shocking)state, then I suspect that more drugs than just alcohol might be at play.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 13 Nov 2011, 23:51, closed)

and that isn't a 'low rent' scenario?

( Pig Bodine., Mon 14 Nov 2011, 0:30, closed)

some drugs cost more than the rent, you know.
I've never taken drugs (except pot) and I haven't had the bed spins for years, but I'm not going to bitterly begrudge anyone else this right of passage.
But if the kiddies next door don't turn their stereo off at the stroke of midnight, I'm totally calling the rozzers. Fuck 'em.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Mon 14 Nov 2011, 1:48, closed)

Or, you're just a fucking lightweight.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 14:56, closed)

Pull the laces out of the top five holes
Loop the laces around the ankles and tie them in front, just tight enough that they don't slop around on your feet but will slip off.
Then when you come home pissed just lie on the sofa or bed and get your enabling other to pull them off.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 13 Nov 2011, 19:27, closed)

^ this is the technique I like to employ

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 11:03, closed)