Every one loves needles......don't they?
Many moons ago before I lost my brown leather bagel hole in 'nam, by that i mean a nice operating theater in The Royal London Hospital, I was on a a boat load of massive drugs. Unfortunately not the recreational kind but the immune-suppressant kind called Humira.

Now when I started on these self injection jobs I had to have 4 in the first go to get the drugs up to the right levels in my body. "Do one in the outside of each thigh, one in the stomach and one on the top of my thigh to see how they all feel" the nurse says. OK me thinks, I'm pretty well versed in needle play now, should be a doddle.

CLICK! FUCKCUNTSHITSOCK OWWW! It felt like someone had inserted an acid laced needle and then run a tazer through it, cue massive leg spasm and me kicking over a tray of dressings. "Oh yeah you probably hit a nerve, that can happen" Great, thanks for that.Right time for no 2. CLICK! no dramas, a bit stingy but no problems.

Right now for the stomach. "Pinch a bit of fat and inject into that" now here in lies the problem. At this point I was 6 foot 2 and just over 8 stone. I looked like I had just walked out of Auschwitz and had been captain of the camps long distance running team. There was fuck all fat on me. So anyway, pinch fat (read skin) and place the auto injector over the target and CLICK. OH MY FUCKING LORD THE PAIN WAS IMMENSE, like the devil him self had clenched his toothed bunghole down on my thumb! but why the fuck was it in my thumb? I had positioned the injector over my thumb with a thin layer of pinched skin in between it and the needle had gone clean through the skin and into my thumb and had hit the bone. Trust me those fuckers pop out with some force.

My Nurse thought it was funny to let me learn the hard way. Never injected in my stomach again. The last one was no dramas.

Length: Sharp pointy and an inch long.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 17:07, 10 replies)

You fucking jessie. Humira needles are under 0.5 mm
I inject at least five times a day. Christ. Imagine if you'd been ill back in the days of proper quarter inch reusable needles.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 17:24, closed)

I am possibly a large gaping axe wound....
but mate the fucking thing killllllled. I may just have been the worlds biggest pansy at the time as it was relatively new to me. I didn't have much skin on me at the time remember.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 17:25, closed)

The pinching skin thing is shit advice.
They used to be obsessed that you should inject into fat not muscle but I'm pretty sure they just ask you to inject into something vaguely meat these days.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 18:08, closed)

Of course the pansy is a ridiculously hard plant. I was once called a pansy.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 18:26, closed)

Lost your brown leather bagel hole?
What, do you now shit into a bag?
Sorry to be so indelicate, but I need to know.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 19:55, closed)

Alas yes I do cack directly into a fancy bag. Not a carrier bag that would just be common.
b3ta.com/questions/overcomingadversity/post1810844
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:51, closed)

On first reading,
I was expecting a sex-tourism misadventure.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 22:02, closed)

did you ever need an X-ray during this time?
and if so, did the staff concerned opt out of handling dangerous radiation sources and just shine a really bright light through your flesh instead?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 28 Nov 2013, 22:28, closed)

Fuck they could have done
Although I like to live dangerously and use the miniscule chances that I might become a superhero upon exposure to radiation. BAGMAN TO THE RESCUE!
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 8:52, closed)

Illuminative Auschwitz metaphor
Click for "captain of the camps long distance running team"
(justin(e), Fri 29 Nov 2013, 3:51, closed)